PhilosoCrap of Damson

Lazinessssss

2010-05-07T18:31:00.002+08:00

Lay ZEEE LAAAHhh!!!!!
Actually I have some pics and something to blog about for the past weekends...but...I am very very very very lazy.......imma need more time to sleeeeeeeepppppppp~~~~~~~

"Damson says, sleeping is so darn important..."

Reconstruct

2010-04-24T01:39:00.003+08:00

Thanks to miss lene here, I've been going out for both breakfast and lunch with the same person. Crazy eating disorder I shall say, and yes you know you are. So I shall say I spend my day out in restaurants more than I had in my living room.
Been chatting with lene and guess she SEES through me haha, oh well who don't if you have such a close friend. Anyway, that wasn't important at all because I've decided to reconstruct everything in my mind and recuperate from whatever that had happened.

"Its not up to us to get into trouble, but its up to us to decide how to solve the problems."

Complicated

2010-04-23T02:29:00.003+08:00

Is it that addictive or what? In the end, I am still here, blogging. Yes, I have no idea how to explain myself. I do not know what to do. I am out of idea.
Did anyone of you ever faced a situation where you knew the outcome of an incident and faced a dilema in doing options? I am facing it now. Its funny that I knew something but I still couldn't care less about the outcome. Well in the end I got myself bad news.
I shall turn bold, bad, and wicked sometimes instead of being so predictable......or anyone think that I am predictable enough...hahahah....
Don't feel like elaborating anything so that nothing will get even worse. Now all my plannings had to be redo. Have to reconsider a lot of consequences again. Yeah, everytime I say don't care just do it. And yeah, I changed my mind in the end. No, I did it so it would have a better outcome. But, it doesn't seems like I can always recuperate matters that happened...

"When people thinks that I am being used, I think that I am helping them out. And I lived a lilttle more happier than others who think otherwise."

Recollection

2010-04-22T03:27:00.002+08:00

Once again I've been awake in the middle of the night, 3am to be precise. Its been long since my last midnight entry. I've been ditching this blog ever since because I found out that everytime I blogged I wrote something so full of sadness within me. People says that when you blog you shared your feelings and it helps you to release the stress and sadness within you. Well, I think otherwise. Blogging had been making me think even more of my life that I've been longing to avoid, problems that I'd never faced, errors of my decisions made everytime within a split second. Yes, I am not mature enough to face myself, or to say I am actually running away from myself.
When I am driving home on the way sending my sister to her tuition center last night, I sudenly had a flash back of all what I've gone through. I've seen such a silly me, and stubborn too. I remembered that one of my friend, that is being so pampered by her mom, eventhough having strict curfew, and still tells me that parents is always right. Yeah, when they deny you, they are right. But, had you ever thought bout that at the very moment? I believe most of us will say no, or maybe when we are still kids back then.
I guess its time for me to consider my future. I've not been concentrating on the right path, instead, I was looping around hopping here and there looking for excitement and entertainment. Just to numb myself I suppose. Numb myself from my own doings which I knew wrong, and numb myself from thinking about what will happen next. Yes, I need someone to reminds me. Yeah, its childish to have such a need. Im old enough to know what is wrong and right. But, can everyone do that eventhough they knew it? I need someone to reminds me, to oversee the consequences of my beings. Parents couldn't see me when I am nowhere near them, friends couldn't help me everytime while they need to handle their own problems.
There is always someone to oversee, to overcome, to lend, to help. That person is so special that no one can ever replace. Its hard to have known someone which, is so close to your heart, your spirit. Yet, people are always blinded by lust they couldn't see. They crave for those lust which they couldn't remember how special that person is, how good and how important they are to themselves. Why people never appreciates those who are so important until they finally leave them?
Its always the midnight that made me think about such things. The world is so unfair, some say. But never do they actually think that, its actually a cycle of gain and loss. What I do today, will i gain my profit tomorrow. Yet, I never really did anything. Yes, I didn't. All these years I've been keeping myself silent trying to findout what was in everyone's mind. I am successful I can say, I can sometimes understands how people think after chatting long enough with them. But yet, I had failed myself in solving my own problems. I do not know what I am thinking.
I am changing, I know it. From the previous ones that everyone can see, or they can know how I am just by reading all my previous entries in this blog. But I knew once again, I am going to be a better person day by day. All thanks to all my friends, which given trust on me for helping them to solve their problems, or asking me to be their faithful litseners. I gain alot from them. I've learned my own ways.
In the end, I hope I am bold enough to act, brave enough to admit, sincere enough to tell. To tell everyone, and to tell HER. Yes, I love you.

"Appreciates often comes after depreciates, but try not to do that on precious ones. Instead, do it on those which you do not want."

Crap again....

2010-04-21T13:37:00.002+08:00

Well Imma back just for once, or twice, or maybe just dropping by forever @.@....well it doesn't matter what that means, just forget about it. Some people have been nagging forever just to blog some entries (duh =.= like they couldn't call me to check up on me or what...)

Things changed ever since, some people aren't together anymore and some others started right just after. Some matters had been solved and some was burried in the heart of everyone though not going to solve it. I am going to Kampar for my stubborness and guess what? I don't think its a bad idea though.

Just a short entry to make long stories short so don't expect much (like there is going to be anybody reading it haha)

"There are cycles on everything that happened, do not anticipate any results if you never even tried to work hard on it. And if you did, you don't have to anticipate anything either."

Me, My bed, and my iPhone

2009-08-15T19:57:00.003+08:00

The sun is shining invitingly through the window and on my face. Awaken by the warm rays, I slowly opened my eyes and realized that it was just 7.30am in the morning. I couldnt resist the urge to standup but I couldn't. This is the first time I've been so ill that I couldn't even stand up properly, more to say walk or jump around. I give up my assignment and asked my groupmate to finish it off for me (with a certain amount to offer...) and get myself fed with those disgusting medicine. Yes, though I am not denying medication but they do taste fouly to me.

Then it begun, my whole day with myself on my bed with my iPhone to acompany. Its lucky that my mom decided to switch our Streamyx account into a better one with a wifi modem so that now I can online in my bedroom without much trouble. But then again, I feel like walking around but my body just feel so tired and wearoff. If I am not mistaken, this is the only time I've been so sick since my kindergarten era....

I am just so mad at myself and I decided to go clubbing later...Hahahhahahahhahahahah~!!!!!!! KILL ME WILL YA~~!!??

"Sometimes it cost us more to realize how important is someone to us. But I will never find out who that is..."

Just blogging...

2009-08-02T11:08:00.002+08:00

Wow, just as I thought that I would go and hang all the washed clothes (a favor for my mom) and then in a split second it starts raining...

It doesn't matters, it doesnt seems like the haze is going to get any better, the weather is as schorching as ever and the visions are getting lousier not because my eye sight is getting worse but the air is covered by thick smokes...

PC Fair is going to end today, hoping that my mom will indeed agree to buy a new printer, better still, a new laptop for my brother so that we can stay even with our own computers to do our own assignments and games...I think I better get going to finish up the houseworks......

"While lifes changes, a lot stays back and more comes ahead."

What the fuck...

2009-07-13T19:50:00.002+08:00

The hell is this world going on? Why they want my spare tyres? Stupid theives...they got my tyres...got me into hard time with my parents...now they keep bugging me and shouting at me that I dont know how to take care my car...what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway? They steal my tyres and NOW I GOT INTO TROUBLE BECAUSE IT IS STOLEN???? Stupid Perodoa why design the stupid spare tyre outside the car? And who the hell keep buying second hand tyres from drug addicts? FUCK THEM!

One kind...

2009-06-07T16:28:00.003+08:00

I guess sometimes trying to explain your stands doesn't even help out much. When it comes to this stage, I guess leave it is better to try, at least it wont worsen the situation much......

"Its not like I never tried, but I guess sometimes the truth is always being covered by the scene that the eyes captured..."

Something funny...

2009-06-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

6.00a.m.

Woke up early in the morning, to say I woke up I would rather say I am being awakened by my brother. My mom had this "briliante" idea of her's sudenly saying that I can send my brother to the LRT station since I am going to school in the morning too. Hey, its 6.00a.m. in the morning and my class starts not earlier than 9.00a.m. today...

6.25a.m.

Now this might sounds crazy but actually right after I came back from the station (after dropping off my brother of course) I saw my neighbour running around on the streets. Yeah, no joke. They did run around the streets. Seemingly that they are chasing something that I can't see with my naked eye. And guess what, I ended up helping them chasing their pet rabbit...=.=

9.20a.m.

Now while saying that I had my rabbit chase in the morning (and it is very early in the morning for such excercise) is funny, this is even crazy. I am supposed to have replacement class today at 9.00a.m. but then my course rep came in at 9.15a.m. to tell us that our lecturer declare a day off today, too. And the reason is......

SHE HAD A STOMACHACHE......

Now thats crazy, and I felt everything that is happening up till now for today is funny and crazy. Maybe later I will have even funnier stuffs, oh well, who knows......

Something...

2009-06-04T02:55:00.002+08:00

Oh I finally had time to go online, which most of my friends thought that I've been missing in action. Well, partially it is because I don't feel like sticking to the computer too often and hence let my sister use it (which she is on holiday by the way, so she did deserves to use the computer) and ofcourse, I've been unavailable since school starts (either too fond of the animation which bounds me from using MSN or really being dragged out or going for some time with my close friends).

I'd been having this strange feeling since the start of the new semester. I don't know what it is but I guess its just because those unusual stuffs that happened before this that is still singing their chorus in my mind whenever I am alone trying to figure out something. That doesn't bug me much though.

I guess sometimes I should've look at matters more specifically and clearly than I did before. Never judge things too fast. But I guess I wont be doing SOMETHING again again...

"Gathering thoughts is easier tell than having it done."

Unusual

2009-05-25T03:46:00.004+08:00

Today is just a very bad day, or I rather call it funny day than bad. It is because everything happened today is just so unexpected (including 24th when I am typing this) as in Elene will call me on Sunday, which is one of the most busy day she will be having within 7 days in a week. And because I promised her that no matter what I am doing at the mo, that I will always oblige to her and then...I found myself in 1Utama. Not too shabby eh?

Apparently she don't feel so happy so I just acompanied her to whatever she wants to do until she feels like going home. It rained for a fine Sunday, yet another not so good things that happened. Got home, and starting from late night, I've been doing something stupid. I wonder why I did that? I just can't help but felt instantly that it isn't appropriate that way.

Ish, I ought to be shot. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Where the hell did I get the thought of doing so? Why am I doing it? I knew it will end up that way. Done, settled. This is the second and the last time I will do it. No more.
Let it be then, my future will be as dark as it shall be from the day I was born in to this not so bright world.

I guess my faith last here and forver burried within my mind.

Outings

2009-05-23T06:05:00.007+08:00

Went to Sg Gabai two days straight which is on the 21st and 22nd of May. Bringing different friends to have a try at the cooling and nice place. Sometimes staying in the all-time-so-busy Kuala Lumpur is just so annoying to the extend that you head burst out of flame and you wanted to cool yourself by eating endless supplies of ice-cream. With the so varying weather, I've planned to go to seek out some waterfalls near by so that next time I can have another nice place to hang out other than going to movies or dinners or singing or clubbing (this I really seldom goes to) in the so congested city of Kuala Lumpur.

Nice view isn't it?

Yong and me, nice try lene...

To keep things short, I would say despite all the frustrations I have from my mom during the holidays, these two days would be the only best day I had in this holiday up till now. Ofcourse not only in Sg. Gabai but all the outings after it such as movies in Mid Valley Megamall, GreenBox midnight shouting, dinner at Restaurant Lau Heong (not bad, recomended). Been having fun for only two days, its so sad that my friend is going back to Kuantan. And to end this, thanks to everyone for their support : lene, Ken, Yong, Feng, and Wen! Thanks everyone for the wonderful trip! P/S: Anyone interested to go for this place? lol...I doubt anyone read...hahaha

"Being able to enjoy life is the most happy things that will befall on you whenever you let yourself to it."

My life dedicated to my siblings as driver! AGAIN!!!

2009-05-23T05:44:00.003+08:00

Seemingly I´ve been deserting this blog for quite some times so I guess it is time for me to add in something before I feel like even forgetting about this blog even exsisted.

For the very first time I really really really really really felt that I am born to this family because my mom planned to have me do all the stuffs, especially being the ´HONOURABLE´ driver of my lil sister. While I am being the driver, I expect that I should atleast have some privacy or maybe my own free time but apparently, no one respected me. They don´t even bother to ask me whether I am free to drive them to any places. I mean they should atleast TRY TO ASK ME whether I am free on that time or not, so that I can arrange my time to drive them anywhere.

Yeah, on my mom´s perspective, it is my duty to pickup and send my sister and brother no matter what I have in planning or planned to do later on that day. I´ve spend most of my holiday being all-time ready to pick up my sister and send my sister to tuition, school, friend´s house. Uh! I hate this thing. Why can´t they atleast respect me? Can't they see that I have my own life to live too? I just somehow feeling like ditching my car so that I do not need to drive them anymore. And whats with that attitude my mom had with me after that arguement about sending my sister to tuition? And it is not even an arguement, I am just sounding out my thoughts and my mom got raged just by litsening to :"It doesn't matter what happened anymore because the plan got changed in the end and thats it." The hell she get raged and straight away urge me back into my room and she drive my sis to school. Ever after that she didn't even let me have a nice talk to her, whenever I called and say :"hey mom," and she will give me that WHAT THE HELL IT IS YOU attitude and even accusing me bout not talking to her in a all so respective tone!!! She didn't try to respect me, how am I supposed to talk to her in a very nice tone when she don't even let me have a nice feeling talking to her. I just so hate her attitude sometimes...though anyhow she is still my mom, I will still obey her and respect her. But I can't stand this anymore, again this situation goes on and I will burst out by yelling at her! And I am damn sure I will this time!

"Don't expect anyone to oblige when you don't even let them have the chance!"

Fair? Fed up with it

2009-05-14T12:07:00.002+08:00

Been scrambling my thoughts right now. Have a major headache because I've slept for only 3 hours and my mom asked me to do all the houseworks, again. What a shocking fact is that, actually, it is not my responsible to finish off their job today. They've got enough time to just do the clothing, wash the dishes and yet my mom decided to shove it off at me. all while I was having my good sleep. Alright, I don't blame my mom for asking me to do the houseowork, I know that my dad is going back to the hospital for medical check up and she was as busy just to send everyone goes there and appointment (which I guess was going out for lunch with friends or what ever entertainment) at Kencana.

Why me actually, my mom said that I was only in charge for sweeping and mopping the floors (although I did not really does all the job sometimes, actually not really often I do the housework anymore...) and now she is jabbing all the hard edges at me. I hate this, what is my lil sis doing? What can't she just wash the dishes? What is the hell my lil bro doing? He is already 18, and yet my mom just can't entrust him with something as simple as the dishes? Why am I always the one in the family who had to do all the stuffs that is simple? I don't think my mom notices this but actually I've spend A WHOLE LOT of my TIME devoted to her so called jobs. Whenever I have my free time, she will just ask me to do this and that, and she had me engaged in every Wednesday and Friday nights just to send and pick up my sis, tuition. And, she would ask me to do the cooking (seldom now but it still happens) and had me engaged in every evening for picking up my sis from school. And seeing that I have classes most of the time, I don't really have my own sweet time. And I still have to worry about assignments and works (ya right, lie to me, duh~) and then where is my time to hang out and play the games I had in my computer? (hahaha, actually this happens because I spend them on the time that I was supposed to do revision and assignments...)

I don't want to spend my time this way, although I still manage to spend some time on the stuffs I like when I am in between of doing "my mom's jobs" but then isn't that such a spoil sport? I mean whenever I am reaching the climax of the story I am reading or movie that I am watching, then its times up for me to pick up my sis. What the heck is that? I hate that kind of things. And yet I can't do anything about it because it is my mom's order. Maybe I should voice it out? But then considering my mom's autocratic position at home. I don't think it is possible to even tell her that I wanted to spare some of my own time and ask her to divide some jobs to my bro. Its not like my siblings are not doing housework, but they have the luxuries. Urgh! My sis can get 50 bucks every month just for ironing my dad's uniform. Whats that? I don't even get a penny for doing the moping and sweeping all these years. What I get in return is that all the screeching and yelling from my mom, all about those housework that I've forgotten to do. My bro don't actually do the same amount of digit that he is supposed to. But my mom never even nag at him. And what I get by doing less job, the same old thing, yelling and scoldings about being lazy.

This is just so unfair, and whenever I am sitting infront of the computer, my parents will have the mindset that I am playing games, and actually the monitor screens is absolutely, obviously showing that I AM DOING MY ASSIGNMENTS!!!! Because the computer is just right beside the television, I don't choose to do my studies and homeworks whenever they are watching tv or during daylights whenever they are around. This is because that will distract me, from getting my job done. Because of this, my mom assumed that I never do homeworks, assignments, study, revision. What the hell. I am going to bang my head to the wall one day because of this unfairness she is giving me.

Being elderly in the family doesn't mean that I have all the responsibility at home. Maybe before the others are mature enough to handle, but at the age of 14 and 18? Why can't they just get the chance to learn?

"Although LaoTze said that the world is a combination of both yin and yang, good and bad, but there is always one thing that is dominating on earth, UNFAIRNESS!!!!"

Holiday?

2009-05-10T09:56:00.002+08:00

Yes! Exam is over! But...what comes ahead is the endless boredom and fats and the rusted badminton racquets and basketball rim...

Holiday in May is always not the best that I have, and it oftens bugs me because everyone seems to be going for vacations up the hills, beach, overseas, city tour, and et cetera. While they are having fun of their life time, I will stay home baby sitting my sister, send her to school, pick her up, buy her lunch, prepare dinner...I ought to be shot!

Holiday always pair with part time jobs, earning money, self improvements yada yada yada. But the awkward situation is that I don't feel like working but I have to work so that I will get paid. The problem is that everyone is having fun while I work and when I want to hang out with friends, they are working/studying/not feeling to go out the second time. URGH!!!!! I hate it...

Well I guess I will just have to accept the fact that I am just not that lucky guy who was born in a wealthy family and well educated by parents to be a disciplined and yet out going person that can play full time in his life. Some responsibility had to be done because it came together with you when the day you were born.......

Lucky~ Merely...

2009-04-25T21:43:00.003+08:00

Duh, put aside the fact that I should not be here and should be studying, or revision, whatever. Today's Moral paper was just average. I don't think I did well especially in the essay part, I guess I lacked the skill to write any essays with facts anymore cause of these blogging thingy...hahaha...what ever...

And the thing that hit me today, is that....

I GOT AN IPHONE NOW!!! Without the charger...
But I still got an iPhone!!!!!!

Why? Because a Russian customer of my dad left his precious phone in my dad's limo...how sad for him, how pathetic for me...I guess I don't mind a visit to IMAC or APPLE to get the accessories though...hahaha...Till then, toodles~~

"Sometimes you just wouldn't know what hit you, might be a shit from sky, or just an iPhone in your car...."

boreeeeedddddd

2009-04-19T20:46:00.003+08:00

Sways sways sways sways sways.......

My mind is just wandering around in my workplace a.k.a ecoparadise....

I am bored till death and yet I can't study here because it is impossible to concentrate....
I hoped that I can have my dinner now...

Nothing to do....

Nothing to do.....

Nothing to do.....

I missed my PlayStation.....

Secrets that shouldn't be kept

2009-04-14T00:28:00.004+08:00

I wonder sometimes, why that people tends to kept secrets that they shouldn't keep? I mean, the secret, is actually a fact, a truth that will hurt someone, closed to the beholder. But then, they ought to know right? This is just bugging me and really burns my nerves.

Someone, had a reason. The reason is that the truth is kept secret because once it is revealed, everyone who knows the truth (especially me) will lose a friend. Hey, whats the big deal there? I know that non that I cared, will hurt me as being told. So, if the truth is so devastating, then that 'friend' might as well just be ignored. Why, someone that will hurt you badly, be a friend of you? If they are not going to treat you as a friend would be, then THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND aren't they?

So, thats the thing that bugs me here. Particular someone, tries to keep the truth (which is related to me, somehow) from me, and gives me the reason that I WOULD BE VERY SAD, HURT, AND LOSE A FRIEND. I say, whats the big deal? BECAUSE EVERYONE THAT I CARED ABOUT, WOULD NOT HURT ME, AND THOSE WHO WILL HURT ME, ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. Thats what I am saying, and I still can't figure it out whats the matter of telling me? I really hate the feeling of not knowing something, that is related to me, and saddening.

And, I don't really hope the beholder to be the tragic hero like the movies or the dramas. WE ARE HERE IN A REALITY THAT EVERYONE NEEDS EACH OTHER SO TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE. I dont understands the reason, or the value there, keeping the truth from others and be sad for your own. Thats not helping others, that is just particularly pushing others to dangers. Why choose to let the bad ones go free, and sacrifice those who are good? Why choose not to tell truth to me, if it is related to me? THIS MEANS THAT I WOULD BE MORE SAD WHEN I REALLY KNOW THE TRUTH WHICH I OUGHT TO KNOW EARLIER! Then what happens when I knew it? Blame the beholder? The the beholder would lose another friend because of a bad choice. I don't hold any grudge or anger towards the beholder. I AM JUST SAD BECAUSE YOU NEVER TELL ME THE TRUTH! AND YOU CHOOSED NEVER, EVER, TO TELL ME!!! AND WANTS ME TO FIND IT OUT SOMEDAY!! THAT WOULD BE TOOOOO LATE!!!!!

"We are not the hero/heroin here. We don't keep truth that will hurt others. If we knew some secrets of others, we keep, but we are not going to keep truth and facts that will just bring sadness to the one we cared and loved."

Sunday night, Monday morning

2009-04-13T05:44:00.008+08:00

Ok, I know its early in the morning. The cool breeze on the streets really freeze out my nerves while walking home from the playground which I always parked my car. Feeling kinda sleepy but I guess I will just blog something before sleep...

Went to watch 12 Rounds by John Cena with Kel and Jac (duh~ I've seemingly been going out alot lately...I guess I have to get some rest...or I am just going to fall..*fainting). The movie was very nice I would say, another must watch it is!!

The poster of 12 rounds, its a very exciting movie. Trust me.

Ok, I wont be discussing and commenting on this movie because I dont wanna be the spoiler for it. If you wanna know more, just go watch it in the cinema...LoL!

Back to where I was, Yong mentioned about having supper at his place because he brought back ALOT of food from his house back in Kajang. So after movie. me and Jac decided to go help ourselves at his little apartment at Genting Court. We had a long walk to his unit, and back to my car as well when we were leaving...

Something in me just tells me that today wasn't a fine day. Something is just not right. But I just cant tell what it is...I think I am going to find out sometimes later, or so...If not, I guess I will definately bothered by this uneasy feel...gah~! Screw it...

" Sometimes, it is just up to us to choose what it is like to be ourselves, and to live on with or without getting hurt by someone or something that happened."

Being tagged by Casely...

2009-04-12T18:57:00.004+08:00

1.My Name : Ong Yee Thye
2.My Birthday : 22nd July
3.Who tagged you : Casely
4.Name 5 best friends : Dayuan, KenGuan, Kelvin, Hansel, Michael
5.What do you wished for birthday : Don't know...
6.Happy things that happened recently : Going out alot?
7.Most stressed about recently : Assignments and Final Year Project
8.What is your dream about future : Everyone around is happy
9.Do you have someone you like : Perhaps...
10.Will visit your ex-teacher in a classmate gathering : Ofcourse Pn. Tan will never be left out
11.Most happy to hang out with : Friends
12.If two of your friends were having conflicts : Mediator
13.Where is prefferably the place to go with your lover : Anywhere
14.What to do in Christmas : Stay home, perhaps...
15.Who do you wants to celebrate Christmas with : Don't know yet
16.Bad habit on waking up early in the morning : Nope, only feel tired everytime
17.How many siblings you have : 1 brother, 1 sister
18.Favourite song(Female) : Nothing particular
9.Favourite song(Male) : Everything from JT!
20.Favourite Colour : Dark ones
21.Flush before using the toilets? : Duh~ public toilets maybe...
22.Love me not? : Sure
23.Affectionate to guys or girls : I am a straight guy!
24.What do you wants to shout out loudy : ARRRH!!!
25.Do you dare to go toilets alone in the middle of the night? : Duh~ Whats the matter with it?
26.Will you take of your undies in while in the WC : Depends on what I do there...
27.Whos the bastard : Right now, myself
28.Whats the current affection : Digimon? LOL!!!
29.Sleeps uglily : Am I supposed to know?
30.Whats the time now : 1919
31.Do you hate the person who tagged you : Nah, I feel like biting her...
32.Weight : 100kg
33.Weather today : Rainy day
34.Are you pregnant : What the...
35.What will you do if you win a lottery : Investment, spend on friends and family
36.An activity that must be done while in the Uni -life : Clubbing? Going outstation together?

【People Tagged】
1-Kelvin
2-Jayren
3-Onn Sein
4-Ce-Yan
5-Elene
6-Michael
7-Da Yuan
8-Ken Guan
9-Javen
10-Ee Von

01-【Did no.4 know no.6?】：uhh...kinda...
02-【No.10 is a male or?】：Female
03-【 The hobby of no.8】：Hanging out with friends especially at CC
04-【Do no. 1 have any siblings】：As I know, got 1 sister...
05-【The surname of of no.7】：Tee
06-【Do no.10 have alot of friends?】: Sure, plenty
07-【Anyone tackling no.4?】: erm...I think so...
08-【If no.2 is being introduced?】：I dont really know what will happen then...haha
09-【The favourite colour of no.6】：I think might be white...or silvery grey
10-【Is no.3 and no.10 friends?】：Nah. they dont know each other...
11-【The birthday of no.8】：13th April (dang....tmr....)
12-【Where is no.5 studying currently?】：HELP College
13-【How do you know no.10?】: At work
14-【Whats the difference between the birthmonth of no.1 and you?】：5 months
15-【Ever hang out with no.9?】：Ofcourse!!
16-【Do you like to chat with no.2?】：Sure, I chat with anyone (as long as they are friendly)
17-【Like to be with no.3?】：I think she will be bullied by me...haha
18-【How do you think about no.7?】：Best friend ever, a very nice guy
19-【How do you think about no.9?】：One of the smartest I knew
20-【Do you love no.5?】：Yes as a friend, I really cared.

1.Who tagged you with this questionaire? : Casely Koh
2.How long you knew him/her : About to be 13 years
3.Do you think that he/she is important to you? : Sorta
4.Your relationship with him/her : Foster siblings
5.Whats his/hers hobby? : Who knows, she will be crazy about anything...
6.What do you think about his/her personality? : 1000% NARCISSIST
7.His/her points of importance in your heart : If 10 is maximum, it will be 7... LOL!! (I am gonna get killed by this...)

＊1st thing before sleep : Switch on the aircond...=.=
＊1st thing after awaking from sleep : Toilet...
＊Your idol : J.T
＊Favourite season : Anything but summer...
＊Worked part-time before? : Definately
＊Times worked : Duh....more than once...
＊Country that wanted to go most : Italy
＊Personality hated : Back stabbers...
＊Are you a cry baby? : nah...swt...
＊You laughed alot? : Occasionally
＊Do you like to go out alone? : KILL ME IF I DO....
＊What time you wakeup if it was a holiday? : Not sure, as long as I wanted to...
＊Today's weather（Sunny Rainy Cloudy）: Rainy
＊Choose between Friends and Lover : No lover here, so friends...
＊Choose between Chances and Fates : Chances
＊Are you narcissist? : No, I dont..
＊Is this questionaire long? : Kinda...
＊How to make yourself feel better everytime? : Sleep...
＊Favourite food : dont know, for real...
＊Do you like ice? : depends on the weather
＊Are you full of happiness? : Maybe...
＊Which are the friends that you cared the most? : Those which are close
＊Whats the most important item in your bed room? : My books!!! And the bed lamp!!
＊Most consistant dream at sleep : I dont remember my dreams...
＊Will you forgive a guy that is mentally disobedient? : Duh...
＊Whats the meaning of life? : To learn and appreciates the value of oneself, and the one with us
＊Do you know？（See if you can answer this！）: Kill me...
＊When do you hate me? : everytime...
＊Like the day you were born or been into the society?，Like Taoism or Confusianism？ : Its nothing to me...everything is the same...
＊Favourite cake? : Marble cheese cake
＊Can we stop this game now? : Please stop it...
＊Do you like sardins? ^^ : NO!!
＊Who knows you the best? : Don't know, my foster sis maybe...
＊IQ higher or EQ? : EQ I guess...but both are average..
＊Computer or Mobile Phone : PDA phone....
＊Prefer to sleep or play? : Sleep while playing...haha
＊Friendster or Facebook? : Facebook
＊Whats your wish right now? : Get over with this...
＊Tired? : Duh~~
＊Favourite drinks ：H2O
＊What do you think of the humanity and personality of the person who tagged you? : FFK me...T.T

Routines

2009-04-08T20:58:00.006+08:00

Today is a fine day indeed, being cheated into class while it was actually a talk, some sort of a motivation talk by some arbitrator. I dont like to litsen to this sort of talks actually but it turns out fine and it even inspired me on my final year project title. I guess I am going to do something on it as the due date is comming near.

Went for dinner with friends. I am happy they actually like the place where I brought them, as I am lacking of nice places to bring peeps too already I guess I will just have to explore this area more so to find out nice places to hang out. *Currently feel bloated because of the dinner...

7th April 2009

Today is especially a nice day for an outing, energetic and anticipated for the upcomming movie that is ahead. Yes, I went to 1U with two friends, Yong and Jac. And guess what, we watched 2 movies in a row, now thats what I call 'terror' hahahaha.

Ok, the first movie is the all time famous Jacky Chan's blockbuster Shinjuku Incident. The story line was very very interesting. In this movie, we will not meet Jacky the hero, but the head of some sort of triad in Japan but he was actually a guy with some morality senses. The movie is absolutely awesome (for Damson) but the ending is kinda sad and unsatisfied.

The poster of Shinjuku Incident, and trust Damson, it really worth a watch.

The second movie that we watched is the FAST AND FURIOUS 4!!! YES!!! I LOVE IT!!!! Dont know how to give comment on this cause it was really out of my range of words, I cant literally decribe this movie anymore......

The most exciting movie this month, The Fast And The Furious 4 (Pantas and Ganas 4) swt.

Well, so that ends everything for this time. Toodles~~

"If you lost, or losing something, it is not a sin. Maybe by circumstances we are not being our own. But, losing your very own value will be the largest sin against everything. Treasure your value so as your friends treasures you."

Genting? Nah...

2009-04-06T12:40:00.006+08:00

Went out last night with Yong and Jac for a night time tea session and guess what, the impromptu outing waasn't that bad although we ended up some where else, which, isn't our main destiny at all...

Whatever, I took a pic of the place. The view was quite nice despite all those buildings which is, awfully blocking the sight *urgh!....

Tada~ The view from the so called "Small Genting" which is one of the three famous hills around Cheras area. (And we really was looking for Look Out Point, trust me...)

It is not a bad idea to have an outing as such although we might end up again, lost....

THE NEXT PLACE TO CONQUER IS AHEAD!!!!

Randomness

2009-04-05T22:31:00.002+08:00

Wala!!! Sudenly I found out that I really hadn't been blogging this year...haha

Well...today was just as bored as ever (same goes to everytime while working in ECO...that place really drives me crazy sometimes...especially eevon and winnie are not around...) since there was no entry (means customer flow was almost nil), I decided to mingle with the computer (*haha scratching my head) and played facebook for the whole working session...

It turns out that in the end...Chie was angry with me cause of not chatting with her the way I am chatting with everyone...IN FACEBOOK...I was feeling kinda =.= (speechless)....and time passes really fast (I should really play with my facebook everytime I work...)

Was home and guess what...I brought back the same boredom with me...haha...I was thinking of killing myself at the mo...brb...*banging head onto the computer desk

no philo entry for this time because was busy bangging my head onto the desk at the mo....

The belated post

2008-12-26T12:16:00.004+08:00

Oh gosh, christmast had just ended and I felt so darn tired today...

26th December 2008 -

8.30a.m. in the morning my mom knocked at my door and ask me to send my brother to clinic. I think I should be the one who is going to the clinic as my brother seems having better condition than me, at least the can speak louder and he doesn't seems sicked...like me...

24th December 2008 -

Today was a special day, my first time driving out station with my friends. Yeah! We went to Sungkai Felda Hotspring and Spa. Guess what, being the driver I had to wake up at 6a.m. and get ready to set off at seven. Thats very tiring since yesterday we were hanging out at DF's house till 1.30a.m. and I reached home at around two in the morning. But then the journey was quite fun despite I had to drive for 2 hours when we finally reached Sungkat hot spring. Yes! I knew the way to the hot spring and I can take others there anytime after this, another place to hang out hahaha. The entrance fee was quite cheap, for adults its only RM10 per person, so I guess everyone can afford to go...

We first went to a pool which doesn't seems very hot(this pool was man made, not natural hot spring) and they had the hot water flowing at the end of the pool. Since we are here for the HOTNESS (LOL), so we all stayed near to the end where the real hot spring water was flowing in to the pond. At first it is very hot and none of us can stand the heat, but after a while I started to sneeze (ah chuu~ swt?????!!!) and being laughed by my "comrades" swt.....

After an hour so, we want for the real hot spring ang guess what, THAT SPRING CAN COOK MY FEET IF I PUT MY LEG INTO IT FOR MORE THAN 20 MINUTES...Thats hot spring we are talking about...

Ofcourse, after hot spring we go for the other side which is the mountain water spring...swt...kinda funny to have both hot and cold spring together in 1 place...Oh ya, the place was called TRAP (Taman Rekreasi Air Panas).

Yes, its 2 oclock in the afternoon and we are heading back to KL. On the way home Kelvin called and ask for a tea time session with me so I had to send everyone home before meeting him which the time was already around 5p.m.

Aha, dinner time!!! After the tea session with Kelv (which only lasted for one hour because of KG which keep changing his plan for the day...) I (had to drive again) picked everyone up and went for Ampang Korean BBQ Steamboat restaurant and had our Christmas eve dinner there. Ok, I guess most of the peeps already knew this place so nothing much to talked about. After dinner we headed to KG's house (after passing through a big traffic which is giving me headache at that mo...driver...) So around 8 of us gathered in his house and played "who's the killer" until 12.30a.m......swt

25th December 2008 -

Its Christmas, I had to wake up at 6a.m. again today. I have to fetch everyone (9 person not including me) and head to Jing Wu stadium for a Christmas function. (invited by our beloved Madam Tan and her Family, and God bless them!) Ok, the function was kinda bored for us cause we had to litsen to the pastor and what they talked bout Christian and all stuff but its ok and we are anticipating for the up comming lunch!

Ok, the lunch was those typical chinese cuisine and it tasted normal and normal.WW left in the middle of the meal because he needed to get to work.And he is lost but finally walked back to the station and he is 20 minutes late. He sent a sms telling us that he will not trust "jesus" anymore because in the end he is lost when going to work, hahahaha. After lunch I had to sent every back home and in the end the few of us went to the usual cyber cafe and have a break before going for second round.

Everyone went home and have a nice rest, second round started at 7p.m. for some stupid reason and we finally made it to "ngau cheh shui", a place near Bangsar / Mont Kiara, I dont really know. The place was quite new and was full of peoples and we went to the famous FULLHOUSE but we waited for 1 hour to be seated. After dinner it was about 11.30p.m. and we went to 1Utama for Ip Man. The movie was quite nice and that is also the way I spend my Christmas for year 2008.

I wonder how will I spend my new year's eve and new year......

Magical / Beautiful

2008-12-21T17:10:00.021+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is no joke, this is no philosophy, this is no crap, this is reality and please guys, be aware

Welcome again to Damson's Magical Show! Today I am going to show you guys the way to transform a :

Fuahh~!!!

into a:

hello lady! You free tonite?
No, this is not a joke, this is the real thingy! Man! Can you believe that?!!

Ok now, I will show you guys the steps how to "transform" step by step.

Step 1:

Let's see, ok this is the clean without touch up face. This is the getting ready step.

Step 2:

Ok, now after getting ready, you will need contact lenses that will enlarge your pupil and double-eye lids sticker and some glue.

Step 3:

Ok, now add in some moisture cream to keep your face healthy so that you can do lots of make up.

Step 4:

Foundation is important, it makes your skin tone more even, apply little amount of foundation at both side of your cheeks so to make your face looks longer and slimmer!

Step 5:

Here you need to use concealer so to cover up for all the flaws such as big eyebags, pimples, wrinkles and et cetera...

Step 7:

Now, to make your eyes looks better, add a natural fake eye lashes and draws a nice eye brow. Add mascara at the bottom eye-lash, in order to make both upper and lower eye lash even.

Step 8:

Add eye liner, longer eye-liners the better, make small eyes look not only bigger, but also longer as well. Add eye shadow. use one dark and one lighter colors to blend

Step 9:

In the end, use some lip gloss, blusher and style your dolly hair and...

TADA~!!!!!

You became an angel!!

MAN THAT WAS CRAZY~!!!

For you folks out there, beware that pretty faces is not everything you need for your girl friend! What is important ? Its the inner beauty, because with THIS! everyone can be pretty!!!

p/s : Kelvin if you read this, spread this entry please, hahahaa....

p/s .2: all the infos are from emails....

"Beautiness lies within the eyes of the beholder."

Another thoughts when I can't sleep

2008-12-14T02:26:00.004+08:00

Its 1.34a.m. 14th December 2008 when I started to write this. I can't fall asleep and just finished an hour phone chat with my dear god-sister which is working at Singapore. Felt relieve to know she is still doing good even if there is alot happening around her. Unlike me, I am those who can't bare any stressful impact that crush down on me. I don't know, maybe I am so weak to handle stuffs when they came in a shock, or I just felt lonely and wanted to rely on somebody to release the tension.

After chatting with my god-sister, I really felt better and came to think that people do live in differently. and that differences makes them stronger or weaker. I came across a friend who said that life is 10% of what we make and 90% of how we take and I wonder. Maybe she is right, even how we contribute to our life to make it better, but almost everytime the outcome is different and really shocking that we can't really accept the truth until the end that we are forced to accept it. But the other way round, if we contribute everything in it, mostly we will expect that the outcome is what we needed and so the 90% of what we make and 10% of how we take is here~

Whether or not, we still can't control our life in the way we want so no matter how we still need to accept everything that happens and here borns the Damson today, haha. Yes, my way is don't do much so that you won't have high hopes and won't fall so hard when you climbed not too high enough to hurt yourself. But sometimes I will ask, is it that I am wrong to do so? Maybe I am wrong, in some way, but I will try to be tougher to face problems and obstructions. Self-conciousness. yes, I really do need that. And optimistic to be, I am so not that person.

But all of all, what did you can expect when you, belanded by all the means stuffs in a row? In just a week you can have more than 7 kinds of unlucky happened on you, and meanwhile you never, yes, NEVER had any wonderful lucks on you? Yeah, shamed on me to be a crybaby buy hey, I am just crying here ok? Hahaha. People say that when Gods wanna give something good to a person, he will first try him by giving him a lots of bad "TRAININGS" to see his commitment. Maybe I am being tested by HIM, or maybe not because I am not any followers of any religions, so, please just treat me normally (to HIM who may REALLY be reading this) T.T

Yada yada yada, enough of sad stuffs. Christmas is near, everyone should be happily shopping around (yeah, there are sales everywhere). And if you guys planning to go anywhere, IF ANYONE REALLY DOES READ THIS, please let me in because I am so BORED at home!!!! And to those who abandoned me, you guys are still my friend, in some sense and I WON'T TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU GUYS DID TO ME! And so, be happy for this comming holiday and hope to have good news from ya'll when the next semester comes! Ciao!

"Being rich is not everything, there is something you can't buy. The real millionaire is those who have a lots of friends and families gathered around him/her everyday to share his happiness or sadness. One are not happy even if they have a lots of fortune, because they can't share them. Yes, a millionaire is those who are really happy in heart, and I am not one of them."

BORED!!!

2008-12-13T20:01:00.002+08:00

Bored bored bored bored~

Its just another boring day, no books to read, no dramas to watch, no games to play, no outing to hang with... Yeah, Damson is hanging on the edge of the cliff of lonesome... AHHhhhh~!!!!!!

Without a reason, I am back, but I have nothing to tell. So I am just randomly writing something here....I wish I have someone to talk with, crap with...So sad there is no one around, Damson is going to die like that soon.......

Untitled for title

2008-12-12T19:44:00.004+08:00

Christmas is just around the corner, but I have no plans for this year's Christmas. It should be a lonely holiday though. Today I had my Pengajian Malaysia examination ended by suprise!!! Yeah, those essay tips our lecturer gave us are just useless. Everyone goes into the hall smiling and came out with a face of sorrow. The corridor was surrounded by grimly auras that you can just tell that there is no hopes around.

Later on I went back home, click on my browser and browse through some random blogs and felt that I should actually blog something even if I do not have anything to blog about these days. Days passes normally for me. Hmm, first thing to do for me should be reducing weight I think, having a bad time and lately I am dreaming alot as in, I can't wake up after I fall asleep. I wonder is it the tiredness of my mental and physical after everything I did on my daily life....

Came across a very funny blog that reminds me of something important. Have anyone ever met a situation where decision making is hard? Hard to choose between right and wrong? Hard to choose between to do or not to do? It is harsh, but to know, in reality we can't always decide something to do just because we want it to be done. Other consequences should be considered. Maybe when I decided to do something, it might affect everyone around me, or maybe I am going to lose something if I get something. This yin and yang effect is just so annoying. How come the way we live can't be decided by ourselves? Why we should consider alot if it was our own way of living?

To come back to my senses, we live because our parents gave us life. We should not only be grateful but be aware of their feelings too. Balance is something very hard to achieve, what we can do is to reach the balance in everything we do so that it wont do much damage to both sides when we had our decision making session in our lives. Big deal eh?

"When we can't decide on something, just let our heart decides which way to take. But be aware that the consequences made shall be what you can bare with your own. This is, when we can't deicide with our sane mind..."

Just some random craps

2008-09-28T02:18:00.002+08:00

Whooooooohoooo...Its long enough for the exam weeks and study weeks to pass out. Its even a longer time for me to have a sudden mood for bloggin again, as in I had long long lost the habit of keep blogging because of my siblings have to use the computer and we almost had to fight for it and I almost everytime will get a midnight computing time...THATS HARSH!!

Well, thanks to my so called 'pet-sis' which I love her so much in the pass and not so much but still love her in the present, hahaha, not that kind of LOVE but is the brotherly love which she had started her own blog recently and had inspired me to write some when I have the free time.(since it is holiday for me so I think I wouldn't be having much problem blogging)

Since it is my holiday, and I had resign from my job at the spa center due to the inssuficient time for exams and assignments, I AM REALLY BORED AT HOME BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. And yes, nothing to do unless I do house keeping everyday and night and that is SO NOT MY STYLE as I am such a lazy person haha. Then I started to get interested in soccer which I had never get interested in before and found out that it was quite interesting actually. Looking at the odds and stuffs really inspired me to continue doing researches on each team to see whether they can win for this season's league or not. Another unexpected is that I actually had a very consistent meetings with one of my primary and secondary schoolmates which I never really had any chance to know her too well.

Starting from last Sunday till today, a total of 7 days we had almost about 6 days meeting each others which is unusual for me, normally no one will have the mood to go out with me more than 3 days, haha, or maybe 2. I might start to think something stupid afterwards so I might as well just stop meeting people that often so that I can cool myself down and have enough sleeps. Yes, I haven't have enough sleeps. Being a driver for my siblings is really tiring. Others can wake up at noon everyday while I must wake up at 6.30am so that I can send my brother to school. I actually hated to wake up that early but I have no other choice... And then I can't have my nap at 12 noon because it is time to send my sister to school again. AND I MUST PICK THEM UP AT 5.30pm, I HATE HARI RAYA PUASA AND PUASA MONTH because schools tends to end earlier than usual and it disrupt my sleeping time too for my holidays....

Ahhh, had nothing much to write for today so its just that right now....
Blog again real soon...

"Something I learned recently, do not be hasty so that you won't make any wrong decisions. It might be a minor matter but it will not be minor anymore if you made a major mistake."

I thought I hate it, but then I don't hate it that much, in the end it doesn't even matters anymore

2008-09-01T02:32:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, there is something wrong in life. At first I thought it was just me, but the it really isn't just me, and then it doesn't really matters anymore. Its being a crazy year, for I thought I could just start a brand new life. Forgetting all the pass-tenses and bringing on together with me those happy memories, and even try to make some. But, how unfortunate it is that everything, or I should say nothing, is going with my plans. Yes, NOTHING is going according to what I've planned.

This is really disgusting, I've planned an outing and in the end I recieved calls saying no one can make it. Fine, I planned this I planned that, in the end it doesn't work out. I've planned to earn some cash for myself, in the end I ended up jobless. WHY? Because my so called good manager has reduced my working hours till so short until I can only cover my petrol expenses with my so little salary. It happens right after she hired a full-timer for work. Hah! Thats the way life is.

Even though I hate it, but then I only thought I hate it, in the end it really doesn't matter anymore because I've still gotta live on and continue what ever I should've continued. So no matter how miserable life is I still gotta make it merrier than ever.

30th August 2008 -
Yes, this is the Merdeka eve, so what? It supposed to be a good day, but today it is not a good day after 1.30p.m. It happens again something I've planned months before ended up being bailed. I felt so heart broken as in I've been fooled around not by my friends this time, but is by HIM. Who ever HE is, you're so bad playing with my life like how my sister played with her Barbies. Some say this is a part of your life, mistakes and failures always comes right before you did something correctly, when you succeeded. Ya right, it is supposed to be a part of my life, and your life, and everyone else's life. But it is some kinda 'over dosed'. It really brings me down till I have no mood at all to be hanging out again with my classmates or friends. Well, it depends on whom. However, or whatever, I felt that it is better not to plan anything or to participate in anything so that you wont feel bad about it when it is deviated on what you are supposed to do in the first place.

Is it supposed to be a part of life to be failing everything you get your hands on it? I felt bad to fail others, as like I can fulfill my promises. I hate it. But what can I do when I really have no other choices to be made? Yeah I have a choice, which is not to promise anything anymore, not to plan anything anymore, and not to participate anymore. I think this is the best idea I should follow in this mean time. It is not that I can't accept failures or what, but I've had enough of bad lucks in my lifes. I hate it when something I've planned doesn't even work out. It is so bad.

Well life is still gotta go on. I've gotta move on, even if I felt bad, no one will stop by and say they felt the same for me. They are just moving on. Everyone will move on. No one cares. This doesn't mean that humans are selfish or what, but it is a fact of life that everyone must think of themselves. It is their responsible. I understand it and I think it should be that way in a while.

Yeah yeah, I've talked bout nonsense too much this time. But what to do, I can't help it as the negative auras are still filling me up and splashing out of my mind all the while today, even after I get a good nice sleep yesterday, and today. I still can't forgive myself for being so unlucky, for being such a failure. I don't understand why everyone besides me are better than me. What's wrong with me anyway? Yeah, maybe this is the problem. I'm being too pesimistic, I can't think of something good, I'm always thinking negatives. That' why no girls are hooking up with me (haha), that's why I am such a failure, that's why I can never do things right.

Okay, I've gotta stop thinking bad now, atleast talk something good. But I can't think of something good at the moment so, I think I should stop here. Felt better after typing out, maybe I will have a better day tomorrow, or whatever that is going to come, I don't care anymore whether it is good or bad, because I've gone through them till I've fed up with it so, good night.

" No one is going to help you when you are not going to help youself. Why do you hate yourself? It is part of you, it is what makes you YOU. No one is the same, so if you do not like yourself, try to understand yourself more and make yourself better because this is the special you that is the only one which we can found."

Happy Birthday to Me....

2008-07-22T17:04:00.002+08:00

Yikes.....I am older today~ Aging in the sense of appearance and age, but getting older doesn't meant that I am wiser or anything.

In fact, I've really really forgotten that I am having my big day today. I really realises it when I am awake and on my phone at around 7.05 am today...What a shame...oh well lifes like that anyway...

After so long, people tend to forget each other I think. Once they still remembered you, the next thing they just cant even recall who you are even if they saw you anywhere outside. Like today those who used to drop me a msg and they never did anymore I guess or I am just sensitive or what ever, but I am very happy that atleast someone still remembers and THEY celebrated my birthday with me even they just knew me for a month a.k.a my collegues!!! YEAH!!! Thanks guys you guys were great!!! But its sad that Winnie are going to leave us this Thursday... Thats gonna make me miss my entertainment time at working hours hohoho~~

Anyhow, tomorrow's a big test so I've gotta rush~ Thanks for those who celebrated and wished me and remembered my birthday and reminded me for my birthday! Thanks!!

"Birthday has no philosophies of my own because I have no time to rethink what happened everyday and Im busy, so.....oh well have a nice day!!"

Confusion

2008-07-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

Yeah right, dont get me wrong by reading the title. Im not going to talk bout confucianism here, Im just confused by the way my manager acts...

At first I was thinking that I am working on a nice environment with alot of nice people, but the longer Im working there the more I found out about the dark side in this particular spa center which is having a big ECOPARADISE framed almost everywhere in this building...

Not to say that I am not satisfied by my company, overall I am quite enjoying working there abide from the boredom sometimes I can get, lol. Only today, my manager just annoyingly giving a hard time to an indonesian maid working there. Well she told us because she was a big mouth and she is doing something that wasn't a part of a job she was hired for (which is informing us that there is a malfunction on the termostate of one of the rooms there). Well then after that incident, an hour later I was being said, or being scolded (using a very soft tone which sounds like advice but I dont think its that way at all) by her for not able to get the stupid plastic bags for her =.=. And then she said being a receptionist, I wasn't only supposed to be sitting infront of the computer and keying the datas but also need to know every thing that was in the company (basically she meant those brochures and some of the products that I really dont know what they are ). My gosh, I was supposed to know everything in the company for just working there for 4 weeks? And MY JOB IS TO KEY IN THE DATA AND RECIEVE CALLS FOR APPOINTMENTS!!! Im just doing my job and whats wrong with that? And remember that she asked me to dance? Ya, that wasnt anything I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO~~ THATS NOT A PART OF MY JOB....

I felt pitty for that maid, well NOW I KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT TIME IN THE COMPANY, when there wasnt any customer I shall seek out every inch of the company and knew where everything were....swt...a hard job indeed....AND NOW THEY LACK OF PEOPLE TO HELP OUT TOO~~ IM HAVING MORE WORK LOAD.....

"Sometimes we gotta be prepared for something that we dont even think that we are going to face with, you just wouldnt know when they will come face to face to you one day, ambushing you unprepared..."

Saddening...

2008-06-23T19:31:00.002+08:00

This, is really sad...Imagine having 6 assignments in one shot...and...not paperwork anymore this time...its field work...gosh when Im gonna dead, it must be one of these assignments...

Im currently having a harsh time on arranging my time for assignments and works because of the field work, which requires us to go DBKL (yeah, you aren't blur or what, and you definately have a sharp eyesight to have notice) and get the profile of any land which is empty and waiting for developement...worst still 5-10 acres of land isn't an easy task and we have to do population research on the area of choice and decide what are we gonna built on that land.(Oh god, take me please...)

Another thing is that we have to find any building on earth (which we decided to do it on National Library but we started to regret the moment when we saw the humongous building...) and do a fire prevent and protection system research and propose it to our lecturer and present the whole thing infront everyone...what sorta assignment is this...Im thinking making a video on this....

Harsh harsh harsh...someone somehow burst something to somebody...this is supposed to be a secret, or rather shouldn't be known not more than who should be concerned....I hate this...which means Im having a big headache now...and...maybe lost contact with bunch of people (ofcourse this is my choice, I think I should be hiding lol) at the mo...

Why everything bad had to come all at once? Why can't they be at least a bit considerate when tlaking bout other people? Why secrets aren't being kept secrets anymore? Why why why why why why????

Ahhh screw it, going to have my dinner for now...getting back when Im having a better mood...ciaoz....

"Now gossip is really an art...."

Opening Ceremony or Opening of MY Story

2008-06-15T17:05:00.003+08:00

15th of June 2008:

Did I just said that had found a work in a SPA center? Ya, I did, and this is just MORE THAN A RECEPTIONIST....

3.15p.m. :

Molly, my manager of Ecoparadise, sudenly asked me to go with her...I felt uneasy and I knew there was something wrong but what can I do? I was like can't resist cause she is paying me to......well got to follow her up stairs.....

3.20p.m. :

Ya, I was right afterall....guess what? Molly :" Come Thye, you're gonna act...come do Swan Lakes with the uncles(of course she didnt say uncles)"
Me :"......Wh...what???"
Molly :" Yeah, go on..."
Me :" swt + T.T"

3.50p.m. :

Oh God please help me if you really existed...I don't wanna do SWAN LAKE with all these uncles...I don't understand why we need to do this stupid acting sudenly...and OH MY GOD THERE WAS PRETTIES WATCHING!!! DAMN MY IMAGE WAS ALL GONE!!!

4.15p.m. :

*Drop dead*.....
Maggie :" Thye! You looked cute~!!"
Uncle DunnoWhatIsHisName :" Hey Thye come, lets go, the had canceled the acting..."
Me :"Why?"
Uncle DunnoWhatIsHisName :"Because they can't find the right song for the acting..."
Me :" (kill me please...)"

This is really frightening...Ya I know I'm supposed to just do it, but I dislike something that just popped up sudenly...I do whatever that already has a planning to it...atleast you should've tell me earlier that I'm going to do THAT!
At least I will have more time to remember the storyline and train the moves...I was like, shocked + stunned + crazy + don't know what I am doing....crazy...its just a crazy day....

Well, atleast I get to run off the scene since they had not found the proper music for the play. Can you imagine ME DOING SWAN LAKE INFRONT THE PRESS?? And yeah, they had invited reporters from papers and TVs to interview, and they would most probably shoot me in with the stupid outfit that Im gonna wear if Im doing the swan lake.....oh God you just saved my life.....
Rewarding myself after work today, today was a really harsh day with all the press and the minister comming...atleast I had a dinner with Amelia, her sis, and Kelvin...hahaha

"Better plan before doing it, its for everyone's sake and it will lead you to success if you planned well..."

The leaving of a dearest friend

2008-06-12T23:54:00.006+08:00

For a time like this, I think its not really a good idea to be talking something so saddening...well, at least its saddening to me...

All of them who are related to me, my families, my friends, my companions, or who ever, the one I most likely to say is that guy which I knew for decades (well just to brag..), from thinking he is this funny little guy (well he is tall actually, not little) and know him well enough to tell you that he is the best or maybe one of the best you can find on earth right now...

This friend of my, well lets call him DY here, he is the coolest friend I've ever had actually. He is kinda smart, sporting, funny, loaded but not showing off or being high on us and he is some what kind of matured.(right now of course, I'm not saying this since I knew him because we were still kids back then) We knew each other from basketball game, back then we are just merely ball mates (those you call when you can only met them strolling around the school but not talking and only come together when there is a ball game every Friday noon before class when we were in form 2...)

Soon enough we were going home together after school because I found out he just lives nearby, which is at the opposite street of my house, and was just 5 minutes walking distance. Then its just like fated that we were in the same class when we are in Form 4 and so we sat next to each other. Oh don't think that we didn't argue or have a fight, yeah we had some of those stupid fights (using our mouth of course, I never would wanna fight this karate black belt and the president of the karate club guy....) just to defend our opinions but in the end we just end up laughing at some new ideas coming out at that stupid moment hahahaha.....gosh I sure miss those days....

Back then was secondary, now we were uni students, he gets his A level and is ready to fly and accomplish his studies at Australia. In between our friendship some sort of gotten loose because some sort of reason ( I think its because of me but I don't wanna mention it here...) Well, thanks to his lovely and cute girl friend, which is a very "complicated in explaining our friendship thingy" girlfriend of his and friend of mine brought up a new spark in our friendship(which means we tend to get even closer that we already were because of her trying to ask everyone out every time they are planning on an outing just to show everyone that we aren't being left out just because they get together, which is a weird thing to do hahaha), a thousand thanks to her here...

Because of her, they always remembered me and ask me out and this really is a good thing and really kind of them to show me instead of telling me that I'm not being left out. And different from the others, which will always ditch their friends when they got hooked up or something....they always gather people around for movies and having fun together which is making everyone a strong bond with each other....

Thanks to DY here for all along his driving me here and there and always remember to ask me out and consider bout me when planning on something(although sometimes they over THOUGHT that I couldn't make it with them so they left me out sometimes but what ever....) and thanks for those advises and times to spend with a fool like me....thanks very much and I hereby wish you a good trip...ofcourse...when you are back be sure to find us, or at least your girl-friend(IF you didn't get a new one out there...hehehe)

Well this is a recent picture taken at Jogoya at 9th of June 2008

showing DY and his other half PY (lol both ends with Y)

A change of life style

2008-06-12T22:36:00.002+08:00

It had been awhile since then, the day I've really blogged I mean...

Everything is going NOT, practically, as what other says, in a cycle. Mine for a reason, had a big change. I don't think its a bad idea afterall by having a brand new lifestyle since I'm no more than a couch potato at home before this. The biggest changes is that my dad had FINALLY got his license at April and started his LIMOUSINE driving. (yes, my dad is a taxi driver, a higher class one, but so what?) And yeah I finally had some allowance this year!! Hooray!!!

Not enough? I've started to join some activities, at least I tried to. Not bragging bout or anything but I hoped to have a some tiny (well, maybe not tiny since I never intented to join and clubs or societies since secondary) changes by spending my free time on something more worthy than playing online games or watching dramas at home. Well, for an add on, I've finally found a kinda good job as a receptionist in Ecoparadise (an Anti-Oxidant Health Spa Center, feel free to stop by anytime to try this out, it really helps improving your health!) and Im getting good pay as well!! (call Damson next month and you might be suprise that Im going to treat you for a meal or two hahaha...swt)

Hohoho, can you imagine Im also cooking dinners, doing the laundries, washing the dishes as well? These are never, NEVER my responsibilities in the past 10 years. Well, I felt that its time to learn more, to do more, and become someone that I should've been.(yeah, typical guys back in the 80's don't even know how to do laundries and can you imagine cooking dinners for your families? Unless you are a chef or cook or else it will be a women's job, no offense.) Well, I personally loves to cook some how so there isn't any problem with me cooking, but the other houseworks, I kinda hope that my siblings are going to offer themselves somehow in lightening my work loads...Lucky enough that since my workshifts are almost in the noon and my class starts at 8a.m. almost everyday and that forces them at least help to do the laundries,and housekeeping. Hehehehe.

Well, I certainly hoped that I can manage to give out sometime to join some society this sems or maybe next semester or what ever, my everyday working as a part-time receptionist are some sort of dragging me from joining any of them some how. Oh well, IF I can some how just find a slot to join them......

Yeah, I think I should stop here for this topic...see ya guys around (if really anyone reading my blog anyway) Good luck!!

"Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that is practically leaving nothing unsaid" - from don't know who already (shall find out again and repost his/her name here next time)

by the way. Damson is back~

Nervosa

2008-03-23T15:51:00.002+08:00

SUNDAY!!!! But I really don't know what to write.

Right now my heart is beating fast, Im feeling nervous...for some reasons...
I dont know what to do now, Im going to panic! Heart attack!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------

Better continue my nap, I dont think I can sleep well from now onwards...I've never been this nervous......

Damson Cursed Part II

2008-03-10T11:37:00.002+08:00

I wasn't goin to UTAR at the moment...atleast I don't think I wanted to attend class for today....I wished to get myself clear....out of any troubles, which seems troubling because I can't even stop thinking bout that accident even a second...

The big mistake is really wearing me down...Im totally busted I think...unless...there is a hope that Im not convicted....or what so ever...hope everything is fine and back to normal...

One thing I've learn in this accident....NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH THE DRUNKENS....they are totally morron when they got those alcohol stucked up into their brains and asses....what ever....they just redundantly, repeatingly, continuously, talking bout the samething...I wonder how it feels like when you are drunked?? CRAZY MORRON!!

Sorry for getting rude here, I can't anyway to release my stress other than to "shout" literally into this blog....

I hope everything will be fine...continue my runaway from the reality before everything has and end to it.........

"Although running away from the problem isn't a good choice, sometimes people just can't help it but to hide from the reality..."

Damson Cursed Part I

2008-03-09T21:41:00.006+08:00

It is really a bad day for me, or shall I say I never had any good days since concious...

Besides the upcomming results of the "erection" (by Shack), around 1.30a.m. Damson is driving down from Genting back to Kuala Lumpur and then BANG!!!!! The impact stronger than the big bang and the feeling was tremendously exciting...I've been banged from the back and HE WAS ACUSING ME THAT WAS MY FAULT! What the heck was it?? Damned life sucks all the time...

Fortunate enough, Damson's Kembara was some how stronger than that wicked Proton Wira, unfortunate enough Damson had made a bad decision after the accident. After long educated and experience how to handle a bad situation like this and I still made really bad mistakes when it happens on me. I think Im still not mature enough to handle such big problems, how can I get myself INTO such a trouble for my parents???? I really don't understand some how that is it really my fault to be like this...Im starting to confuse everything all together, stucked up very very very roughly.....

Its great to know Opposition had most of the big states and even out the power BN had all these years, sad to know, when come to my concious I had made a bad decision for my day. Sometimes, you really can't escape from the wrath of luck no matter its good or bad. I will be grounded I guess, so for if my parents wont ground me I would ground myself anyway. There is always consequences for decisions made.....

AND MY COMPUTER GOT INFECTED BY SOME KIND OF STUPID SPAM! ITS NOT A VIRUS, BUT I AFRAID IT WAS A WORM! LETS HOPE NOT!!!!!!!!

Felt weak, felt tired, felt hopeless at the moment but while typing there is an unfammiliar and strange feeling of relief...I think Im going crazy with myself...thats all for now....updating every moment when I can....ja na~

"Sometimes, you just can't avoid being caught in the middle to trouble and yet, you still have to accept that its your life..."

Damson Chronicles

2008-03-07T17:43:00.002+08:00

Phewwwwww~~~~~

How long have it been? Few months already since I've blogged, and I think most of the regulars here ain't thinking I will be back no more....hahahahaha crapping crapping....

Its really hard to stuck 3 months stories into a single piece of blog, so shall I make it short? Ya I think I should. For the pass few months I've been missing in my blog, today shall be the free day I re-blog again and yet my mind was set blinded from everything...maybe its only my enthusiasm or what ever. Lifes been really crazy and wild out there, sometimes when you think that you are gaining, everything might as well just get back fired which just really hurting.

Once, most trusted and reliable companions might as well just bite you back later. Once I thought the company was good, it turns out we can't just judge anything by their covers. Having lots of problems around me and I think its not going to end. The best thing of all, Im always gaining experiences, always enjoy everything around, always felt hope and learn to give chances as well as grabbing them hahahaha.....

Well, Damson is just merely crapping here right now. I was trying to write something decent but I really can't think of something nice to write about....SO I think this shall be it for today, maybe next time I can have something better....ADIOS~!

"Life is not just what we are experiencing right now. The longer you live, the more your gain and understands the difficults and joy you can find in it. Be strong and have faith with your own living way."

Stealing free time...

2007-11-04T12:13:00.000+08:00

Fuyah!! Long has passed and its already one month since working. Missed out alot of fun with friends but still, Im still as happy as ever as long as everyone is still here!

Phew, finally got sometime to have a break. Guess what, I've ben promoted to ATM (Assistant Team Manager)......this is surely a hard job...Im going to lose alot this month I guess. Spending time to train my teammates is sure a hard job....Oh no not really hahahaha, they are really good at it for a first timer, I guess they will be rich in a week or two hahahaha....

Well, since Im just stealing some free time I have from work to blog this so this shouldn't be a long one.....Just to say that Im really having fun doing this job and I never had such an enjoyable job before!!!! I love this job and I like everyone that is working together, I've learned alot that I couldn't learn in school....Aloha and Adios!!!!

"A problem is not a problem until you think it is a problem, if you don't solve the poblem then the problem will definately solve you. As a power of combine, you can beat through everything that is on your way, so don't lose anyone that is around you!"

Day off

2007-10-08T11:43:00.001+08:00

Today is supposed to be a day off for me...but since me and all my partners (4 of them) were doing our practical on field training last week (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) so our boss asked to go back to office today and do a review for this 3 days sales (which will be later...now is only 11.45am)...well...Im doing good so far....although the day is not doing that well...(it keeps raining when Im on work...which means disturb and interuption of work since our booth is at the main entrance of Cineleisure)

Well, apparently my boss happen to be fullfilling his promise on us although we are not hitting the target,(he promised on giving us a free big chicken as the treat of if we did a 20 sales on that particular day .....but so unlucky we are...we only get 19....) thanks boss!!!! Today the 4 hour review and proposing is really pressuring....stressful as it is...our boss actually(I just knew it today...=.=) try to and forcing us to do something that is not supposed to be done on our level...which means he is pressuring us to do something more.....wao...I understand...because I've gone through that...and it really is pressuring...but hey...no pain no gain right?? Haha!!

Well, this is the worst day off that I've ever had....my boss is pressuring us (AGAIN!!) by asking us to do something that we didn't even expected that will come so fast.....tomorrow...we will be going to server the SME (small medium entreprise if not mistaken)....serving bosses and business man sure is quite and really harder than serving customer that went for shopping right?...YA right...I think so...Tomorrow will surely be a deadly day to pass.......Im still thinking what should I do.....

OH ya.....before I end, just to say...since Im doing quite ok with my work so IF anyone interested in joining in can gimme a call if you wish to pressure yourself hahahaha....and the meal treat I think has no problem already....cause I think at the end of the month I will sure be earning more than enough for just a meal (if I keep the work going on as well as possible and hardworking ofcourse) so be anticipating ya!!!! Ciaoz!!!! Waiting for another dying day!!!!

"Sometimes human just can't think possitively. If you have the time to think on something that is unneccessary why not use your time wisely? If you have the time to HATE someone, why don't use the time to concentrate more on someone that you love???"

Day of?? Maxis?? Training?? Blogging?? DEAD...

2007-10-04T19:14:00.000+08:00

Phew!, finally Thursday is here... what a long week...never had a holiday is like what I've been going through now....well...I found a job on last Thursday, thank god I found one, the training is on Monday...thats harsh...

Monday- Training, (mood = anticipating)
Well, this is the 1st day of training. I woke up early as usual and get ready to go for KLCC for my 1st day of training. I never expected what is waiting for me there...a total nightmare....er..daymare..or what ever....I reached KLCC rather early together with my friends and waiting for my team leader and my boss. After that we've met some other guys as well(future teammates)Boss started the training by explaining about Maxis (the company im working for is one of the exclusive partner of Maxis) and what we should know to earn our own money...haha...sounds funny?...its not at all...then we head on with the product knowledges...whats comming next is really killing me....real time on field training...we need to get to change to uniforms and then head on to promo and try to close cases....I've never expected this to happen...I never dreamed that promoting this would be that hard....I failed the training for today...I did'nt get any business at all..no cases..."eat the air"...atleast I've met some new friends today...(I've learn one thing though...do not be harsh on promoters...)

Tuesday- Training day two, (mood = kill me)
Today is a lil bit special...we don't have to be at KLCC any more...phew, what a relief...we get to learn another product's knowledges...then something stupid happened...our boss require us to propose a way to hit our sales target..swt...god help me again please...I've never done any proposal before...how am I gonna get through this??After some talking and teaching...we've been send back to KLCC (not again!!!) for another product's training....well...unfortunately...there is insufficient uniform for all of us...so a new comers get the chance to promo for the day...and to our suprise...he is good at it!! But...still no case closed for the day..haha...unlucky...

Wednesday- Training day three, (mood = KILL ME FAST!!!)
Hell, today is the day to submit the proposal....dead...Im totally dead...reach there as early as ever...well...after some teaching for the final product...we've finally get to propose our proposal...and...the answer is...everyone is dead...with a misconception of doing the proposal...everyone did it in a wrong way...Now I know why we need to do the proposal...its because we (full-timer) will later on need to propose the products and ways to make sales for the company...(Im goin to be dead at this...)and then we get a 20 minutes chances to think for our new proposal...and taada....we've been assign to jobs following our proposal...(Im proposing to do a booth at steven's corner in Setapak...)A 3 days operation and I can't wait to die...kill me pls....

Thursday- day off, (mood = sleepy)
Phew, day off...not a bad idea eh?? Gosh...not at all...I can't relax....why?...because there will be a electricity shut down for day time...what the heck!!! Gotta find something to do or somewhere to go with my friends as soon as possible since the electricity is still on!!!! Finally went to KLCC (what??? again???) with 2 of my friends because one of them needs to buy a set of formal wear for his job...Not bad....went to KLCC then back to Jaya Jusco again to hunt for cheaper formal wear...out of my expectation....I've met alot of people here that I've long lost connected...
Matheena - friends last time working at Jaya Jusco...didn't have time to chat with her though
lost connection for sometime...
Wei Chee - friends since foundation sem 1...for some of you who don't know she is Isaac's girl friend...she seems like working at JJ for now...long time never met her since degree...lost connection...
Yew Choong - My class rep....didn't expect to meet him here at Desa...crazy...but at least he said hello to me....not like someone...
Joey - The someone....girlfriend of YC....I called her name more than 10 times and she didn't even look at me...and when I really passed by her...she looked...but didnt even said HELLO...swt...She is gonna be dead when we are back to UTAR...
Anthony - wow...knew him since kindergarden....Msia champion of Yu Gi Oh card game and appointed by Msia to go for competition at USA....long lost connection too...
Cherry - I miss her most....primary classmates....long long long long time didn't met her already...seems like she's gone prettier!!! swt...what am I talking??.. Yikes..........

Thats all for now....bloggin soon....Im goin to be dead....soon....very soon....see ya'll in Hell...

"Don't ask what others can do, ask what you can do for others. Don't ask about god and ghost while you don't even understand human, dont ask bout the dead while you don't understand the living" - Confucious

Blogging? Or not....

2007-09-27T11:42:00.000+08:00

Ahh….its good to be back here….well...holidays are here….computer back from the “hospital”….no exams…no assignments….waiting for work….then that means no reason for me to not starting to blog again….

Hmm….its been a while since I blogged…so there is nothing to blog about suddenly…or shall I say there are too much to be told in here that I don’t know where to start from….or with…or what eva….can’t get hold of my language anymore…felt that Im getting weaker everyday….maybe it’s the exhaustion of finding work everyday…waking up early in the morning…go out…find job…come back late…eat sleep late….well…that’s the way it should be though….

Well, this is the 1st time I have such a long holiday since I am studying in UTAR…and it felt really weird….I can’t even find a proper thing to do….its been so wild since degree started and everything must have been dropped to zero when the holiday was declared…I felt so…empty…hahahaha….well that’s the way holiday should be isn’t it? Gotta get hold of my mind…

Well its still a long way to go…so I shall just stop here and say to myself :”Welcome back!!!!”

A person who doesn’t learn from mistakes is a person who will never be successful. A person who is not reliable is a person who will never learn, learn from mistakes is the way to survive in the future and be successful.

A day that Damson feels "red-faced"

2007-08-23T17:01:00.000+08:00

Oh dead! I shouldn't had been to my class today! Its a bad day and embarrassing!! For this is the revision week for my Management Principle class, hence I woke up early as usual and went to class 30minutes before the class starts. Its like a lightning strikes when my lecturer, a.k.a Mr. Patrick telling us that, his revision class is different. He is not going to tell us wat is the tips but ask us to give him the tips...swt...well so he divided the 4 chapters that he is going to cover up for us this week to all the courses that are taking this subjects. Then bla bla bla...reached chapter 10 which is the chapter that is divided to my course and da da da dang!!! "Ong Yee Thye!!" wow....I think i should went go buy ToTo...IM the 1st person in my class to go out infront of everyone in DK2A to spot question for them!! swt...being desperate (mostly because this chapter's lecture notes is kinda complicated and...its the most complicated and hardest chapter) I went out and simply bang them a sub topic that is actually not really important at all (knew it after he discuss this chapter). Well this is the 1st embarrasing ocasion that will normally happens to me when Im in a bad luck mode...

After the one and only class I have for Thursday, me and my classmates decided to have lunch at our usual TBR restaurant. Right after we enter the restaurant...its dark outside and windy and seconds later rain is pouring down....The God must be crazy giving me a hard time like this..well after a 30 minutes waiting i decided to ask my fren for his car key and tried to drive the car over for them because I dont wanna waste any time waiting there for nothing...then i rushed to the car where he parked it and when I looked into the rear mirror I saw 2 of the QS students(girls) which in the same class with my course are asking me to reverse the car before they do it(they so incidentally parked their car behind my friend's). I must be very nervous and crazy because the next thing i do is like a reckless driver and unexperienced one....I try to reverse the car (Nearly banging other's) for about 10 minutes (again embarrasing myself) and then thinking that "they must have thought that Im stupid" I successfully reverse the car by doing it straight to the junction before I do a quick U-turn and dissapear out of their sight before I do any stuffs that is goin to embarass me again....

Actually I wanted to say that...especially to them...That is not my car....I'm not used to drive cars like Proton Wira....its too low compared to my lovely Kembara!!!!......Im a so called good driver too....I can drive properly....there must be something happening to me today.....T.T

well thats the end of the story....this blog will again be closed until the souls of Damson comes back after the Finals!(hopefully) And thanks for the concerns guys! I appreciate it!

"Do not try too hard to grab hold on something that isn't yours, try to release them and let it go. You will feel better after doing so. Life isn't what we can predict even if we had already plan for it, that is why there is the word 'unpredictable'!"

Lost of soul

2007-08-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

This blog will be temporarily shut down until Damson found his soul back....

Nothing special..

2007-07-07T13:46:00.000+08:00

Today, I read something really meaningful, again, so I think I should post it here, I think some might have read it before but its still meaningful to me…

Sand and Stone: TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKINGTHROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH. THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE". THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?" THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT.

'LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.'

Last week, I had an argument with my friend. One of my best friend. Actually it was about his behavior. Non had know about his personality. He actually looks like a happy person and every time coming up with some stupid idea to make every one laugh. But actually inside him he was just suffering…

Well, I don’t feel like talking bout other’s privacy so I will just keep it short. Well, is it that being a caring to friend is a sin? I don’t felt sinful but I think maybe just our way and definition of caring was different. Or, sometimes just the way we do it makes them felt pressuring. But I don’t understand what’s the matter of standing out and face the problems?

Sometimes, I think we should just learn to let go of something that doesn’t belong to us and continue with what we have. Feeling bad about having it, why don’t let it go them???
Ah! Just another crappy thingy, well, good luck everyone for the up coming weeks! Mid term is near! Ja!

"Some times when we people looks up to the sky, the Nation of God above the clouds…for us it seems like a dream, or a fancy fantasy. But, if we listen carefully with full concentration, we will able to hear the bell that comes from ten thousand miles above us. Today we heard it. Tomorrow we will hear it too. The bell that is loud above the sky, is the song of glory that sings and praises the mother land…” – One Piece

Just another crap...

2007-06-30T19:44:00.000+08:00

Another 27th June like all the 18 years I’ve lived up to. But this year its different from all the previous, its my “bro” KY’s birthday and I had planned a birthday celebration for him. Up to that day only I know that, I’m a total failure. I failed to convince everyone to attend the birthday celebration and it had turn out to be a lame one. And then I failed to send JS and Kelv home. I really failed my management eh...

Here are the details of that day

Morning, I woke up unwillingly (just skip this part cause this is what I usually did, wake up from my sleep unwillingly) and then brush up and head to my 1st class which was 8.30am in the morning. I manage to run through the class while sms-ing Kelv and Chee Ken to make sure about the planning later on. Yeah, I remembered, today was KY’s birthday and I’m the one who did the POLC of the celebration. My class ends at 10am and hence I went to the cafeteria in SC block to pass my time. I had a nice chat with JC which was having her breakfast and was waiting for her class to start, and John. J too which was having his break at the moment. Later that, (about 5-10 minutes later) I received the sms from Chee Ken and he found me at the café and OS too were there and we made sure that who was following to PJ as earlier I was told by Kelv that he will be heading to SP for KY’s present. 10.30am I went to SA block’s lobby to wait for everyone. Unwillingly OS called and found me sitting at the corner of the lobby and CK then arrived 3 minutes later. We had a brief chat and OS decided that she will not head to PJ after all since Soo Li and Gin’s gang were busy and might not attend the celebration (the excuse she gave was that she had taekwondo lesson the day before and she was tired…swt…).

At last, knowing that most of the people here in Setapak aren’t going to the celebration, which made me feel really down, I decided to head to PJ and SP with Kelv. Kelv reached the lobby at about 11.30am which was the time we agreed to meet each other there. Then we head to the LRT station by taxi and there goes our journey to PJ. In the LRT, we were wondering where to go after SP because I heard from Kelv that Cyn and HT were really busy and its only 12.30pm that we will be reaching Asia Jaya. No worries, we reached AJ by 12.30pm just like what I had estimated. Well, a bad news when I saw Cyn’s kancil, there’s already 4 people in the car and how can it survived having 6 passengers in it and drove all along the high way (till now I still don’t understand…swt). We actually went to SP, HT and JS having their big time (leg cramps) and straight away head off to the pet central. Cyn had fun with some hamster while me and Kelv having a hard time choosing which cage to buy for KY and where to get the hamster.

Finally without many choices in the shop (as all the cages was quite expensive). Kelv and Cyn decided to head to other pet shops to have a look, so we decided to just buy a ball (which is a toy for hamster to roll around by running inside the ball). We found a hamster that’s doing backstroke and it looks quite funny. HT insisted to buy it but we decided not to because it looks infected as there’s a red spot at the back of its head. Then we saw a very active and cute hamster again and decided this time we will want this (but we actually got it mixed up I think because once the people from the shop opens the small room of the hamster they suddenly all got excited and jumping around). After getting the hamster and leave it inside the ball, we decided to head to KFC for lunch (or else Cyn will make sure she had enough from the hamster we just bought). After the lunch, we headed to Cyn’s little kancil again and this time we all felt quite uneasy but energetic because of the little hamster running around in the ball. A mere 10minutes later Kelv started to notice something weird on the hamster. Its having a hard time I think because I saw its very humid in the ball and the hamster was sweating and trying to find air gap so that it can breath.

10 minutes later the hamster started to stiffen and it’s an emergency cause we found that it actually fainted and flipped over together with the ball as we rolled it over to make sure that it moves. Trying to save it, we decided to let it out from the ball awhile to grasp some air. Lucky enough it came back to live and we actually arrived to the destination. Cyn, who had a hard time understanding the way pointed by Kelv and found a parking and park the car abruptly. Rushing to the pet shop, which was quite big, Kelv lead me to the hamster corner which it sells everything that a hamster needs, cages, beddings, foods, hamsters, and et cetra. After deciding the cage which was quite small, I think, I grabbed the food and bedding for the hamster and then we head to the counter so that our cute little hamster there wont have to suffocate again in that small rolling ball. Heading back to PJ after that and Kelv went to pick up his offer letter of scholarship by UTAR and sending HT back to PD block to take his car, me and Kelv went to Soo Li’s house to wait for everyone.

At Soo Li’s house, helped Yvonne a lil bit on her assignment while waiting CK to bring Gin and Xinyi back from Mid Valley. Xinyi, who came back later, having a hard time (again =.=) to decide whether or not to give and which hamster to give to KY. At last, she asked me and I had chosen the black one, which I think was the cuter 1. Head the MC after that by bus cause CK was driving his cute kelisa which that I missed so much and he had to fetch all the girls, so being a gentleman (do I had any choice?), me and Kelv took the bus to MC and 5 minutes later before the bus leave the stand, Soo Li came up and told me that she’s heading to Low Yat to accompany SH. Frustrated because that I had planned to celebrate both KY and SL birthday together. So by making sure she promise and will come back later for the celebration, we head on to MC and found CK them sitting at the canteen. Waited for KY to bath, it took about 40minutes I think. Then Xinyi and Yvonne decided to head home first because SL will not be back before 8pm. Had our dinner while waiting. Although I wouldn’t say that the food there was VERY good but still it’s quite ok for a canteen food. Had a nice chat with each other there while waiting for SL and SH back to MC.

When everyone’s there, we took out the cake and ask KY and SL to cut the cake and divided it to everyone. The cappuccino cake which was bought by CK them in Mid Valley was quite nice but it will be better if it was cool. Then after the small celebration and chatting and giving out the present I had for SL and some hugs to KY from everyone, me, Kelv, SH, SL, JS decided to head back to Setapak by LRT. SH and SL board off at Wangsa Maju station as they need to head to JJ for the pillows if I’m not mistaken. On the other hand, Kelv and JS followed me back home because I had offered them a ride home earlier before. But what a big mistake I had made. I didn’t make sure that the keys were at home when I offered them the ride. As usual my dad was kinda absentminded and always took the keys with him even though he is not driving at all. That makes me so frustrated and guilty for making them walk all the way to my house and not able to drive them home. Later on, JS called his sis for a ride home and then we walk Kelv to get a cab. Sorry guys!!!

Later that night, Kelv sms me to tell me that he had reach TBR safely. I’m glad that he is safe as well know that TBR, especially at night wasn’t really safe at all. JS’s sis reach my house 5 minutes later and I went to bed after some chat with him over msn. I had a headache that night and I can’t really sleep well because the guilt and the frustration that I’m such a bad organizer and planner. I hereby vow, to all my friends, that I will do better next time!!!! That’s all for my version of KY’s birthday celebration. Kindly note for Kelv’s and maybe KY’s blog for more details IF I had missed out anything……

Another Monday~

2007-06-25T18:40:00.000+08:00

Oh today was a tiring day, did another building material practical and Im all wet and dirty by those cements and sands and concrete and...and...oh swt...and went to the cafeteria and saw FK and Kelv there queing up for the foods...wonder what they were waiting...can you imagine the canteen at UTAR is actually out of food and the chicken rice shop was cooking the chicken when i reached there...wow...another black Monday I guess.....well I came across an interesting mail from my mom and I felt that I copy and paste it here was way more better than fowarding it...here it goes~~~~

The 4 wives

Once upon a time... there was a rich King who had 4 wives.He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one dayshe would leave him for another.He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her. One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was near.He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!When you die, I'm going to remarry!"His heart sank and turned cold.He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave."Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated. Then a voice called out:"I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, she suffered from malnutrition.Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ...Our 4th wife is our body.
No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.Our 2nd wife is our family and friends.
No matter how much they have been there for us, the fur! thest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Soul.
Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go.So cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now! It is your greatest gift to offer the world.Let our Souls Shine!

Well what do you all think?

Friday night, Saturday thinking...

2007-06-23T03:31:00.000+08:00

Phew, finally get rid of the head breaking assignments (some of them). I felt lighter by now and wanted to write something. It's Friday night, and I had a tea/dinner time with 2 of my secondary classmates (actually one of them are UTAR student too) and had a nice chat with them. Well this makes me miss everyone even more...

Had a funny converse with KY just now and this makes me thinking is it that really hurts when someone close to you before this. but then changed the attitute towards you all of a sudden? Well, for me I would feel hurt and will confuse me with questions "why would became like this?" "Why all of a sudden they seemed not to recognize me?? Is it that they didn't see me here? Should I call upon them?" KY told me he was paralyzed by this act of abnormality. Maybe he had had enough of this and don't give a DA**n about it. But, for me I wouldn't like this to happen. Maybe someone know me out there would say that I always told them that I would not talk to them anymore or I would just ignore them forever, but then that was when once I was depressed about this relationship thing and now its all over...

Maybe what KY said was right afterall, its hard to maintain relationships between those who always been together and seen each other everyday. Its hard to keep in touch with each other in study life and we shall wait till when we went to the working stages in our life. Its nothing to argue about cause it was just another different perspective but I shall say that I hope even IF we didn't meet each other everyday, even if one of us were too busy but then it is worth some time to spend with your friend even just for a mere 10minutes on the phone or sms. For those who meet everyday then the bond in between shall be stronger shouldn't it?

By now I really felt dissapointed to some of the ex-classmates in secondary school. They dont even want to reply messeges. Unlikely to say they actually CHOOSE not to reply just because we don't see each other alot. Some say they were busy for the upcomming STPM exam but then there is still someone close that will sometimes, even at midnight, will send a simple goodnight messege to wish and tell me that they were good at the mean time. Time can proof everything and it proves who that is will really worth for you to sacrifice your time and to share your feelings and goodies together......

" Friendship is not a single-sided relationship. It shall be two-sided. One who willing to sacrifice their time just to litsen to your miserable encounter, ready to lend a helping hand whenver you needed, tells you about something happy and share the happiness together. are someone that is worth for you to do the same to them. Don't just open up your hand and take from others, be considerate and give something in return."

Fourth Week

2007-06-20T14:14:00.000+08:00

Its fourth week already, and the dramatic life of degree in UTAR has yet not subsided but then it became more hectic as time passes by. Well getting used to the new environment and fortunate enough to know some new friends. Getting used to the pace of the lecturers and tutors by now and getting hold of those crazy assignments...

The craziness has yet keep bugging me. I still cant understand anything thought by the Environmental Science lecturer Dr. Ir. Heng...Crazy enough he used to skip those slides while teaching and the routine of going for his class was just to wait for him to stop his lecture and let us leave. Its torturing enough to attend his class and yet learn nothing and the subject was crucial and I would say the hardest amongst all my subjects in this semester.

Well, other than just this ES other things are fine, getting back to the normal day life, chatting, eating playing, studying, and maybe start to blog back.( yeah I think I should do this more often to realeases my stress from the Dr. Heng....) Well, just got my assignment last week. Huh, not the normal assignment we did in the foundation anymore. This is just a homework, and the crazy thing about it is that the lecturer thought that he was so smart, he wanted prevent plagiarism and hence he asked us to do it in point form...well point form was nothing, but a page of point form was crazy...

Time passes by so fast it was like just a second before I was still in foundation and now I was in degree. The sarcasticism are just like being laughed by someone else for our foolishness. Time are precious and we must kept time precious as our dearest friends and family so then we wont lost track of them...

"Sometimes I think back, how foolish I was when I was young. I hated myself for being that way. Well that can't be changed, it can't be helped as it had happened before we even knew that we did it wrong. But not foolish enough I was, I remember what I did and I will not get hold by it and I will head foward to my life without repeating the same foolishness I was used to be..."

Degree

2007-06-08T06:46:00.000+08:00

Oh well, its the second week of the degree life. Its still kinda hard for me to adapt to the new situation, especially all my friends were in different classes and different courses. Well, Im trying to know new people here and luckily most of them are really friendly. Ah, starting of the stressing days again. Its kinda ackward when you sudenly started your school days again after a long holiday...

Hmm, in these 2 weeks many had happened in UTAR Setapak here. Well, the most "baddest" things that happened is that. neh that girl there, the petite little girl that we all know, OS la...dare her, she passed by me everytime and didnt even take notice and even bothered to say hi...ah dissapointed. Oh I had even saw her in the canteen eating with a guy and so politely the way she act and even collect the plates of that guy for him after dining, oh she never even help me once before...hahahaha...just kidding...

Hmm, my course was abit wierd. Totally new and different subjects were learned and no others in UTAR (I mean all my friends) had the same subject as mine. How am I gotta get help in my assigments? Well, I think it is about time for me to work for myself...so far Setapak Campus was ok for me. My timetable wasnt packed at all so I had alot of free time to do my work at home too.(pitty those who had alot of works and a packed timetable, especially those engineers)

Well, getting used to the new environment is easy, but it is hard to maintain the old relationships. I hoped everyone will remember each other and do gather round sometimes.Well, thats all for now...

"Once you've done something, don't look back, feel regretful and keep saying sorry. What you need to do is just tell yourself that you will never repeat it again, better still, dont do it in the 1st place. Be responsible for yourself and for people around you."

心聲

2007-05-31T20:38:00.000+08:00

"你可有想過自己的未來嗎?"每每母親大人向我提起時,我都啞口無聲.這並不是我沒有想起過它的答案,也不是我把我叛逆的行為當作答案萊幾我老媽的心.這只是我不知道如何回答她.未來對我而研究的的確確是未來.它是抽象的,讓人摸不著頭腦,根本就無法形容,無法掌握.不是我不去想,而是也許我想得太多了吧.我無法確定的找出一個明確的答案.有人說,"只要执著于自己的夢想,那怕事一步一步的走向它,還是可以避過重重的考驗而達到它的."但是現實中的人們是否真的可以做得到呢?事實上不是每個人都可以為自己的夢想而前進.空有夢想而所有的付出到頭來也是個空想的話那只會更加的令人傷心,更想放棄而已.這裡說的並不是事實的全部.其實還是有許多人可以完成自己的夢想的.他們或許是世界上頂尖的人物,也許是一個無名小倅.也罷,他們都是执著自己的夢想而成功的人士.可是,這裡所要表達的不是別人,而是筆者我.我的夢想並不明確,是非常的模糊.我的生活到了今天為止都是為了別人而擺動的.別人就有如"風",而我的生活就有如"被風吹動的旗幟".確實,我並沒有怨過任何的人和事情,最多也是偶爾說說兩句,睡著了醒來就不記得了.沒有目標的我應該也說不上甚麼未來吧.或許應該說是我不懂甚麼才是應改選上的未來.生性得過且過的我應該是這樣了吧?今天發生的就讓它發生,管他甚麼明天事......從小至今,生活都有母親大人為我安排,父親大人為我打點,只有一小部分是可以自做主張的.臥病不時說我是笼中之鳥,瓦中之鱉.只是選擇的事情到最後還是得要請示過家中的太上皇和太后.可能他們有他們的理由,也許他們是為了我好.我也沒有怨過他們半點.我還小,初生之犢不怕虎的我很可能會做出甚麼令自己會後悔的事情來.我是受他們保護的,我是應該感謝他們把我的生活都安排好.這些都是把我束縛成一個沒有主見的人.不是一切都沒主見的,只是到了人生的決擇上時我還是會讓他們選的.後悔的事,他們也有錯誤的時候......(待續)

Im Finally BACK!!!

2007-05-31T20:36:00.000+08:00

Yo! The Master of Masters, Master Damson is back after a century.........

Addiction?

2007-05-18T08:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm, its been awhile. Been on addiction to the Final Fantasy series hence I spend almost all my time living in these fantasy world...Yeah dont get me wrong, THESE fantasy world. Haha, I've been playing Final Fantasy 5 to 8 for the week, can you believe? I cant even believe myself now haha. Well, I've not finished everyone of it but I play them accordingly to my time....

Addiction of game is it better than addiction of drugs huh? But did you all know, that addiciton in game can still cause yourself being arrested and send into jail? Huh, no kidding. Just a few days before I came across some old game magazine in my drawer, so since I have nothing to do AND lack of reading materials so I decided on to find out some old games in the magazine which are interesting and I came across this funny little article written by one of the editor. Hmm, since it is all in chinese I will just tell the jist of it and not translate it...

Don't you ever think that it is a small case that you cheated someone in online game for their credit in game or their items. You think that the lawyers, judges dont understand the games and you can just fly by the case and nothing happen? In Taiwan there is a judge that plays online game and were one of the TOP 10 players in the game. And guess what, there are cases that this unethical act of player cheating others for their stuffs had been bring to court. NO KIDDING. Well, for example A cheated B for some gold and goodies in the game, then B can sue A for cheating his properties. Even if you said the golds and items in games was just virtual stuffs and doesnt cost anything but then again the players spends their money and time on the game to get those things. Some even can earn money by selling to other players. So in this case it is same as your real property and can be send to jail. Or you can settle this by just pay back what you had stolen or cheated and with extra money for the lost of others. But normally if this kinda cases happens in Malaysia and some more in cyber cafe, hmm, someone will just be send into hospital......

Ahh, its time to fly back into my fantasy world, well then, next time......Ja Ne!

"Cheating Really Is A Serious Offend!" - See UTAR PJ Campus Block A wall (I dont know bout other blocks)

"You wont believe that what you did will cause serious offend to others, when something bad happens you can just blame yourself for not thinking about it. Think before you act and act smartly."

It Finally Rains!

2007-05-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

It RAINS!!!! Its finally raining here, oh my. Hmm, I think this is a good sign of a good beginning. The seemingly endless scorching flame of the sun has finally been covered up by the wonderful sprinkling clouds!! I felt good, cool breeze is everywhere bringing my soul to another end of the world (=.=+ crazy...) ...

Well, I have nothing particular to post up here. Just felt good that it finally rains after a few months and felt like telling it haha!

"Do not judge the books by its cover, do not assume anything before the results were told. The scorching sun was covered by the clouds, that would rain and bring us hope. Do not lose faith, one who doesn't believes in himself doesn't deserved to receive the success of his very own hardship." - Maito Gai

Guess who is this?

Whats the meaning of mine?

2007-05-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

Argh, when is the hot day going to end? I cant stand it anymore...the scorching day is making me scorching hot inside and cant think of anything to write...Since I have nothing to write then I will just simply write something to update my blog hahaha...

Hmm, today was a normal day. An early awakening of my tired body, brush up and get ready to go for my DATE. Oh, its just going for badminton with one of my friend. Hahaha. Well, I have a decent walk from my house to the lrt station to wait for my friend to pick me up, humming some musical rhythm in my mind. It wasn't a long wait, I've just reach awhile before my friend and we went to TARC's sport complex and have an hour badminton TRAINING before I was send home.

After that I got a call and was asked to go for a gathering. For my surprise my friend was back from the matriculation in Kedah. Since we have not met in a while, I was really anticipating the gathering. Well, it turned out to be fun, as we just went to cyber(=.= typical Setapak school boys haha)like we did last time when we having free time to spend together. After the gathering, I had a 45 minutes walk home. Just great, another opportunity to lose my weight.

Hmm, something was bugging me for a long time. What is the meaning of life? What is the feeling of being dead? Well, I cant tell for the feeling of death but I think I can finally think properly for the meaning of life, of my life. For me, Malaysia education really doesn't suites me. I don't like to learn what that is not related. I hate being nagged to study and prepare for examinations daily. Instead, I like to think. Think beyond the normal. That's why something like whats the feeling of being death will come into my mind haha. As for my future, I plan to just find a work that I do not hate and have just enough salary to cover up for everything and maybe enough to save up...say 2k to 3k is already enough for me. Maybe when I have time I would like to travel to other places, learn other cultures and their way of life. I like to listen, but I seldom speaks but was forced to speak when I'm in primary school and in the end built up a crappy personality, but I still likes to listen. I like reading. so maybe I would spend a lot of time reading a lot of books till the day I died and then finally knew the feelings of death. That's what my plan for my future. But then everything is not going to be as I've planned...

The meaning of my life is not there, that's why sometimes I felt that I've been pressured and pushed out of my own trail. I need to act beyond what I usually wanted and betray my own self just to survive. I want to be free, if can I just want to learn and not for exams, is just for the sake of learning knowledge. What a waste that is, a lot of knowledge, too little time to know every of them. Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I should face the reality. Maybe I should just go by the destined fate of mine and play my role correctly. Maybe I can let it be and then implement what I wanted into my current. Hmm, that sounds possible.

Ah, stop for all that dream. This the reality. The reality is not something that we can achieve our goals by just dreaming. We need to work for it. Work hard, and IF playing our cards right then we can achieve our goals. The seek of my meaningful life starts here I think. I should probably start thinking how to achieve the best lifestyle that I wanted in this disastrous reality. I cant just neglect what my decision will turn out affect my family and my future can I?

"Maybe we can't choose when to be born, in which era, in which century, in which country, in which family. But we can choose which was the best for us. No matter how the times flows, how the future turn into, we can still live the life we wants and the way we die. But, there is an important thing. We must not regret for it. We can only live our life once, be grateful and live with the way we wanted, with no regrets of which ever we had chosen to be."

Thats me! (have it from Karen's blog haha)

2007-05-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Yo, thats me hahaha...Im me and me Im...swt...

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.
Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems.

You would make an excellent:

Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian
Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer
Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher

The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

The carrier thing is just so bullshit...swt...getting agressive...a nurse? me?...kid me not...

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

Oh my...what is this?...an idealist?...sounds...not bad...hahaha

What I am thinking in this 30 minutes...

2007-05-08T01:53:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 1.55a.m.

The night is warm, with its unusually hot air flowing all over the house. Or is it because my sitting in front of computer for a long period does that effect on me? It doesn't matter, blankness of my head causing me to unable to do anything to this post at the moment. Maybe I should give it a 5 minutes more to think about what I really wanted to write about.

Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.00a.m.

Listening to the midi. Relaxing. Thinking deeply how to construct my upcoming sentences, clause, phrase, words, alphabets...well...a little too much for that. A strong feel of writing but an empty mind without topic bounds me to where I am. Cant think of anything to write.

Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.15a.m.

Hmm, just watched a drama scene. Talking bout a rich guy with two wives and four children and how he be the great man in his family, maintaining the peace and harmonic between every family members. Well, family really does mean alot to everyone doesn't it? Without your parents you weren't here today, without your family you weren't you today, and what else? Be grateful if you have a lively family, be thankful if you have a parents that loves you so much that they were able to give up anything and everything just for you.

Think about it, when is the last time you talked heart to heart with your mom and dad? When is the last time you really communicated with them, sitting in front of them, talking about your problems, asking for "directions" and help, solving problems together with them? Or maybe, did you ever talk with them nicely even? Well, of course I hope everyone does communicate well with their parents well and love them as much as everything.

I myself sometimes have problems talking with my mom. Sometimes she is just so stubborn and wouldn't listen to what I am going to explain to her. But well, when I came to think of it every time after I quarrelled with her, I feel that there is a motherly love there. I knew she was just being too stern with her feelings and just cared about us and she wouldn't give up her point when she knew she was right (but actually my point was right too what...=.=). I love her and I really do.

As for my dad, he is a happy go lucky person. He wont hope for more and he was always being humorous and joke about everything that came to him. Even if my mom was mad he would just make some lame jokes about her...swt...I think that's the way he survived till now cause my mom, I would say frankly, was a pretty strict person and very serious about everything. Oh I have nothing to talked bout my dad, just that he sometimes are really annoying when he keeps asking us to shut up when my bro and sis are quarelling...swt...(family problems too much eh? haha, but I wouldn't call it a problem...)

Oh, for my siblings, I have one younger sister and a younger brother. Ah they cause not much problem. Just my sis always wants what everyone have and she often do not talk "nicely" what she wants from us and what she wants to tell. But it was alright since she was standard 6 and starting to obey me sometimes. My bro...smart but lazy...(like me, like elder like younger...swt)

For me, my family really means alot to me. Although there are noises all around when everyone was present but that means that they are all healthy, and at least, talking with each other. But sometimes I do hope my mom will listen to me before she concludes anything...Oh well, just hope...

Writing ends at 2.32a.m., 8th MAY 2007, Tuesday

"Family plays an important role in everyone of us. Without them we were nothing compared to the wilds. Without them we were just nothing today. Have sympathy to those without a family or a broken one. Tell everyone in your members that you love them, when you have the chance as you might not have the chance when you cant tell them anymore."

This is when my uncle's wedding last Xmas

It sometimes really doesn't matters, but sometimes they do...

2007-05-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

Its 11.33p.m. and the Superstar Show has just ended with a brand new superstar Henley! Wow, but I do hope Orange can win the prize hahaha...not being bias but she do have a very special voice and passionate singing style.

Oh stop crapping bout that already. A week has passed since the starting of sem break. The feeling of loneliness still following me around, accompanying me no matter when I'm sleeping, or eating, or bathing, or...oh what ever...I think some of you did have the same feeling huh?

Whats next? Oh, nothing...pure nothing...there is once a person said(sorry I cant remember the name) "To do nothing is really hard, as nothing is really nothing to be done" well that I think really has its own meaning there...been trying to find SOMETHING that can really inspire me, ignite the passion in me, to push me to MOVE AWAY from this bored computer.

Maybe I should find something to do in this holiday. Which 1 is better? Find a job? Or just plan some programme with friends? Oh, meeting with old friends isn'ta bad idea either...nah, all that seems nothing compared to reading I think. But, I've been lacking of reading materials. Hope I can find something interesting to read soon...

Ah, I came across something, so here goes my second philos

A boy was born, but his mother was dead after giving birth to this boy. No one ever blame the boy for his mother's death, although he knew that the fact he was innocent, but he can't omit the guilt in him. This is because the fate had linked his birth and his mother's death together and bind it. The feeling of guilty and the pressure shows no mercy, they pushed him to failure in his entire life, for him trying cover up something that he did not do wrong......

Sometimes in life we will make wrong decisions, or maybe we didn't consider about the consequences before we make our action. That will eventually turn out to be something that pressure us if somethings goes wrong with our act. The guilt that will always follow us. But there is one thing, sometimes it really isn't our fault even if it turns out badly. I think that we shouldn't claim everything to our own even if we are the one who make decisions. Neither do the others as they did nothing wrong just like the boy. There is no one to be blamed on his mother's death as that is his mother's time has arrived. Well, maybe I'm just plainly wrong about it but that is what I think by now. Even if we claim everything to ourselves but then it wont be any help anymore as it had already happened and there is no way back. The only thing we can do is, think twice and think wise before we made any decisions after that.

"FATE has HIS own story written in his books, and we cant change to storyline as we are just someone playing a role in the story. What we can do is by playing our roles well and be careful of what we are going to do as it really matters to ourselves or to the others."

Its all thinking back...

2007-05-04T18:10:00.000+08:00

Its Friday evening, back from Megamall and from the movie Spiderman 3. The street was scorching, the air feels dry. Im sitting infront of the computer viewing those old picture, that was taken long time ago and recently. I "stumble across" those drama pictures we've taken along the scenes. Well, that makes me kinda think back of the times where and when we were having alots of fun together...

　　　　　Stunning acts of the bohn-bons!

Spending times with friends are really fun for me. Even if just sitting at Burger Kings and was just blowing about the latest features of computers, or games, or movies, or even talking bout friends that we knew. Atleast it is better than sitting at the living room and do nothing.

　　　　Taken last day of Foundation Studies

Then, I looked at the 1st ever birthday celebration with Gin Gin. Thinking back of it, kinda happy that day even if the cake I bought was just used for "cake war". Happy moments was just so short I think. Wonder when is the next time I can celebrate again with them? Whos next? Onn Sein maybe(hope my shirt and hair wont get those creams)? Hahaha...

　　This is a rare 1, hope I wont be whacked by SOMEONE

Well, I think this is when it all started, the romance of CK and Gin...

Oh, its time for dinner, well gotta rush for it cause of my tummy is already "thundering" inside...

"History is to be learn, the past failure is to be forgotten, memories are just something that you wanted the most at times. Do not let the past haunt you, let it be a part of your memories and maybe when you flash back on them sometimes, you will notice a sweet smile on you or yourself laughing for your own silliness. Then? You will just move on merily as if nothing had happen."

Is it because...?

2007-05-04T07:48:00.000+08:00

Everyone remember that poor guy stabbed death by the robber who studied in TARC last year? Or that girl being violated and nearly raped in TARC? Or Ms Kong being robbed and badly injured? Even myself has being robbed twice although the second time I was being asked for the money "nicely". From all, I found a common facts related. All TAR(University/College Tunku Abdul Rahman) students are related(LOL).

Why? Why all these incident are happening in Malaysia? Is it the government authorities should be blamed of? Is it because the police aren't doing their part? Or is it the breed since the day they(robbers/thefts) were born that had brought up a wrong mindset? Or should we blame them themselves for doing such "good deeds" to us?We students often wrote essays about social problems, but have you ever think deeply? Why this cant be solved? Or the Ministers didn't look upon the consequences and subsequents of it and handle it just by pushing it to the subordinates to handle themselves?

My mom just came back from Singapore (watched Phantom of the Opera there, I wanted to watch but of the Management study....) few days ago and she compared between Singapore and Malaysia (again. She went to Singapore to watch Miss Saigon few years back then). This is the sentence I heard her saying more than 10 times without her conscience knowing that she had repeated it that much : "Singapore ARE REALLY a safer place than Malaysia". Ah, and why was that? Singapore is a country that prosper, there are more "millionaire" than us here in Malaysia and why the robbers/thefts chooses to stay here and not in Singapore?

If you say "Oh, they are those nasty little Indonesians", "They probably sneaked in to our country and jobless". Oh, they are wrong indeed but I don't blame them as much as when I found out these, "They are Malays, wearing....."(from the victims), "Oh those Indians are so fast, I cant even run away"(yet another victim) or my version, "There are 6 of them, short and tall but all skinny, Malays I call them, rascals barbarians...."(this is my version of being robbed) Oh my GOD, Malaysians O' Malaysians. Those Malay guys they get everything better than us Chinese and yet they still wanna rob us?

These are not the worst cases. Those culprits, call themselves the good guy, didn't even lend a helping hand when the victims need them. Doctors, can you imagine a doctor who refused to help a badly injured person and he was just within a walking distance? Those people who passed by don't even care to call for help?Those busy bodies who came and look at the victim but do not even care to send him to the hospital or clinic? These I call them ba******. Why don't they help? If one day they are the one who is robbed and injured, I hope there is someone there to help them so that they will know. Kinda think of it, will I myself give a helping hand? I think I would. That's what I learned from PBSM in secondary school. Never leave a person unhelped.

Its 8.30a.m. in the morning. I supposed I gotta get ready for the movie or else KY would say something as I hold the tickets (wicked, ngek ngek ngek). Well then, see y'all later!

p/s: sorry if this post troubles you, I just woke up and has the urge to post but I cant construct my sentences well, hehe.

"You can't change the fact that it happened. But you can change the fate of the ones who caught into it even by just calling for help. And you can still change the fate that it wont happens to you now and then."

Just crapping for nothing...

2007-05-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

THE BALANCE TALK
Balance. Ever think of it? Whats the balance of the livings? Whats the balance of life? There is no precise answer. For me, the Nature has yet not met its balance, and neither will it for as long as it lives. Yin & Yang appears when the Nature, the Earth was borned. This two forces trying to cover up each other to meet the balance on Nature. But, if the balance is occured, why then are they still doing here? Thats it, they never made it to the balance. The World will not reach its balance.

From my point of view, thats the balance of the Nature, never to be balance. If your dont have yin(shade) then there will not be yang(lights). If there is no short then there will be no tall there is always something existed to be compared of. Thats the way we are, comparing each other. Ever wonder about the ecosystems? There is said the ecosystem must be on balance so that it can continue its cycles. But then there again, it never reaches balance. If it reaches balance, then there is really an unbalanced theory.

The Earth itself was made unbalanced. It rotates not in straight but a little bit of slacking to the side. There is extreme cool places where the eskimos lives and there is also extreme hot places where the Nomad lives. Some places has four seasons and some places has only one season. It is truely unfair in some sense but then thats the way it was.

NO PURPOSE
Motherly thoughts: "It will always be the elder's fault if something goes wrong, find him/her first before I settle the others..." why was that? Don't know....

Sometimes I kinda think that, "what am I doing here?" Well, there is no purpose we are born. We must find our own purpose to live on. "Why we study?" "We are learning, getting knowledges from the pass and present." But is it that way? Well, I can tell in Malaysia it is not. We study cause we need to pass all the exams, we need to get higher marks so to proceed on our education. Is that the main purposes of learning? Of the knowledge being passed on generations to generations? For me, the aim of learning is for the sake of knowledge, to build a mindset, a personality that can coupe with his/her own life in the future. Im not stupid if I cant score As' in my subjects, and that doesn't mean I cant do well. I just felt that the main is out of trails.

Whoa...look at the time. Its 2.30p.m. already and Im crapping nothing here, well just adding up my posts thats all. Gotta get back to my houseworks already...

"Never look down yourself when others look down upon you. They are just blinded by the false facts, you may look down at them, in despise that they do not understands the truth within the false."

The end? Or maybe NOT, It is just about to start..

2007-05-03T03:57:00.000+08:00

It is almost 4a.m. in the morning. I cant sleep and sat upon of my computer, trying to think of something to write. Well, everyone seems to be very happy about this sem break, or shall I say the end of our foundation year? For me, it is just another starting, " is this the end?" " no, it is just about to start!" "hurry up and get ready, you're gonna get lost if you don't pick up the pace!". Yes, everything is just about to start.

It is already 4a.m. and I am still wrtting this blog. The sun is going to have it's power shining to everyone and everywhere it can get. The power of never endings. Everyday although its same; dawn, dusk, sun sets, sun rises everyday the same routine but it brings different occasions, different meaning to be searched with our souls, different experiences to be experienced by us. "Its not the end yet!" "Yes. I can still go on." This is what I will be telling myself starting from now. We must not lose faith and hopes so that we can proceed to the next level.

The end of my foundation year means the starting of my degree (although I still doubt that I can proceed to degree), start with meeting new people around me, not forgetting those wonderful friends back then. It is not the end of friendship, once a friend forver will be friend. A good starting means more goodies will come on 1 by 1 following each other. So prepare well for the up comming challenge...

But everything has its limit. Go over that and it will turn upside down. The rules of "yin & yang", showing us that we must'nt be too harsh on everything. Do not push yourself over the limits or you will just breakdown at that very point. Balance, yes thats the word for it. Keep track of the balance of physical and metal health so to improve ourselves...

Today is already 3rd of May. Has everyone packed and moved to new hostel? Or everyone has been packing home? Im wondering cause of the silenced living room the whole day yesterday and the day before. No one even mind calling(not you KY..lol..), I think they are busy packing and getting ready to go home.

There is always an ackward feel in holiday, maybe it is the sudden changes of daily routine that makes me feel uneasy, I cant fall asleep. I think I miss everything and everyone. Losing tracks of them, nothing to do but to just sit infront of the computer and good for nothing. Maybe it is time that I try to figure out what I really wanted. A blurr scenery of future up ahead awaits me to discover.

Can't think properly right now. I think I've lost track of myself at the moment cause it is 4.25a.m. in the morning. In an hour time my dad and my siblings are about to wake up and get ready to go to school. I sure miss everyone there, my old schoolmates that are studying form 6 now, my ex-teachers that are retired and/or still teaching in my ex-school. Well, no matter how I miss everything, or how I wanted to have the time return back to all those memorable times, I still need to go on. Not looking back but to look foward is the only way of life. Yeah, I understand it very well.

My back is aching, I think it is the warning my brain gives me that I had spent too much time sitting here. Well, got to go too cause I think I'm just merely crapping....

"Humans usually wont trust the truth if they don't see it with their very own eyes. But the truth is not just what we see with eyes and heard with ears, it is what we should learn with our heart..."

Thinking......

2007-05-03T00:57:00.000+08:00

Well, this is crazy...thinking of starting a blog in bloggers really makes me sick. But then came to think of it, it is actually a good start for me...throwing away all the saddening stuffs in friendsters and start a new blogging life in here. Thanks to the ant compared to giant, the small size but eat like giant, THE GREAT Onn Sein showing me her wonderfull blog. This kinda inspired me to blog here and well...it is such a suprise that actually a whole lot of people really blogged here...haha...blogging really tiring sometimes...need to think alot...

Here comes my first philos.......

Apprentice: "Master, can you explain to me what is freedom?"
Master: "Which freedom you are asking?" the Master continues : "The first freedom is foolishness. Just like a big horse shaking the knight off its back, but that just makes the pain on its stomach feeling stronger in return." Master: "The second freedom is regrets. The regrets here is just like an old sailor that chooses to sink and drown with the ship rather than being on a safety emergency boat like others do." Master: "The third freedom is understanding. Understanding will only came in, saying : "ah!" after experiencing foolishness and regrets. Just like those wheats bending their bodies over the blowing of the strong wind. Because it bends down its soft parts and that is why they can overcome the strong wind." Apprentice: "Thats all?" Master: "Alot thinks that they are searching the reality in their souls. But, the truth is that there is a much greater soul considering and searching for them. It is just like the Nature, it allows all differences in it, but it can easiliy eliminate and substitute those who cheated it. Those who allows it to "think" in their hearts, will have "freedom" from it eventually. Just the same as the rivers helping the swimmers swim to the opposite bank, if they obey to the waves and let the waves brings them to their great destination......"

What do you think about the Master's teachings? Understand it might need alot of thinking. But if you think of it you might as well find answers to other questions as well. Lifes are full of wonders and uncertainties (hey this is the term in management...), finding the meaning of life is not by just thinking about your future, but is to really understand what your inner self really wanted. Believe your souls within you that brings you to the truth of what you are searching.....