5 years ago
Thursday, May 31, 2007
心聲
"你可有想過自己的未來嗎?"每每母親大人向我提起時,我都啞口無聲.這並不是我沒有想起過它的答案,也不是我把我叛逆的行為當作答案萊幾我老媽的心.這只是我不知道如何回答她.未來對我而研究的的確確是未來.它是抽象的,讓人摸不著頭腦,根本就無法形容,無法掌握.不是我不去想,而是也許我想得太多了吧.我無法確定的找出一個明確的答案.有人說,"只要执著于自己的夢想,那怕事一步一步的走向它,還是可以避過重重的考驗而達到它的."但是現實中的人們是否真的可以做得到呢?事實上不是每個人都可以為自己的夢想而前進.空有夢想而所有的付出到頭來也是個空想的話那只會更加的令人傷心,更想放棄而已.這裡說的並不是事實的全部.其實還是有許多人可以完成自己的夢想的.他們或許是世界上頂尖的人物,也許是一個無名小倅.也罷,他們都是执著自己的夢想而成功的人士.可是,這裡所要表達的不是別人,而是筆者我.我的夢想並不明確,是非常的模糊.我的生活到了今天為止都是為了別人而擺動的.別人就有如"風",而我的生活就有如"被風吹動的旗幟".確實,我並沒有怨過任何的人和事情,最多也是偶爾說說兩句,睡著了醒來就不記得了.沒有目標的我應該也說不上甚麼未來吧.或許應該說是我不懂甚麼才是應改選上的未來.生性得過且過的我應該是這樣了吧?今天發生的就讓它發生,管他甚麼明天事......從小至今,生活都有母親大人為我安排,父親大人為我打點,只有一小部分是可以自做主張的.臥病不時說我是笼中之鳥,瓦中之鱉.只是選擇的事情到最後還是得要請示過家中的太上皇和太后.可能他們有他們的理由,也許他們是為了我好.我也沒有怨過他們半點.我還小,初生之犢不怕虎的我很可能會做出甚麼令自己會後悔的事情來.我是受他們保護的,我是應該感謝他們把我的生活都安排好.這些都是把我束縛成一個沒有主見的人.不是一切都沒主見的,只是到了人生的決擇上時我還是會讓他們選的.後悔的事,他們也有錯誤的時候......(待續)
Friday, May 18, 2007
Addiction?
Hmm, its been awhile. Been on addiction to the Final Fantasy series hence I spend almost all my time living in these fantasy world...Yeah dont get me wrong, THESE fantasy world. Haha, I've been playing Final Fantasy 5 to 8 for the week, can you believe? I cant even believe myself now haha. Well, I've not finished everyone of it but I play them accordingly to my time....
Addiction of game is it better than addiction of drugs huh? But did you all know, that addiciton in game can still cause yourself being arrested and send into jail? Huh, no kidding. Just a few days before I came across some old game magazine in my drawer, so since I have nothing to do AND lack of reading materials so I decided on to find out some old games in the magazine which are interesting and I came across this funny little article written by one of the editor. Hmm, since it is all in chinese I will just tell the jist of it and not translate it...
Don't you ever think that it is a small case that you cheated someone in online game for their credit in game or their items. You think that the lawyers, judges dont understand the games and you can just fly by the case and nothing happen? In Taiwan there is a judge that plays online game and were one of the TOP 10 players in the game. And guess what, there are cases that this unethical act of player cheating others for their stuffs had been bring to court. NO KIDDING. Well, for example A cheated B for some gold and goodies in the game, then B can sue A for cheating his properties. Even if you said the golds and items in games was just virtual stuffs and doesnt cost anything but then again the players spends their money and time on the game to get those things. Some even can earn money by selling to other players. So in this case it is same as your real property and can be send to jail. Or you can settle this by just pay back what you had stolen or cheated and with extra money for the lost of others. But normally if this kinda cases happens in Malaysia and some more in cyber cafe, hmm, someone will just be send into hospital......
Ahh, its time to fly back into my fantasy world, well then, next time......Ja Ne!
"Cheating Really Is A Serious Offend!" - See UTAR PJ Campus Block A wall (I dont know bout other blocks)
"You wont believe that what you did will cause serious offend to others, when something bad happens you can just blame yourself for not thinking about it. Think before you act and act smartly."
Addiction of game is it better than addiction of drugs huh? But did you all know, that addiciton in game can still cause yourself being arrested and send into jail? Huh, no kidding. Just a few days before I came across some old game magazine in my drawer, so since I have nothing to do AND lack of reading materials so I decided on to find out some old games in the magazine which are interesting and I came across this funny little article written by one of the editor. Hmm, since it is all in chinese I will just tell the jist of it and not translate it...
Don't you ever think that it is a small case that you cheated someone in online game for their credit in game or their items. You think that the lawyers, judges dont understand the games and you can just fly by the case and nothing happen? In Taiwan there is a judge that plays online game and were one of the TOP 10 players in the game. And guess what, there are cases that this unethical act of player cheating others for their stuffs had been bring to court. NO KIDDING. Well, for example A cheated B for some gold and goodies in the game, then B can sue A for cheating his properties. Even if you said the golds and items in games was just virtual stuffs and doesnt cost anything but then again the players spends their money and time on the game to get those things. Some even can earn money by selling to other players. So in this case it is same as your real property and can be send to jail. Or you can settle this by just pay back what you had stolen or cheated and with extra money for the lost of others. But normally if this kinda cases happens in Malaysia and some more in cyber cafe, hmm, someone will just be send into hospital......
Ahh, its time to fly back into my fantasy world, well then, next time......Ja Ne!
"Cheating Really Is A Serious Offend!" - See UTAR PJ Campus Block A wall (I dont know bout other blocks)
"You wont believe that what you did will cause serious offend to others, when something bad happens you can just blame yourself for not thinking about it. Think before you act and act smartly."
Monday, May 14, 2007
It Finally Rains!
It RAINS!!!! Its finally raining here, oh my. Hmm, I think this is a good sign of a good beginning. The seemingly endless scorching flame of the sun has finally been covered up by the wonderful sprinkling clouds!! I felt good, cool breeze is everywhere bringing my soul to another end of the world (=.=+ crazy...) ...
Well, I have nothing particular to post up here. Just felt good that it finally rains after a few months and felt like telling it haha!
"Do not judge the books by its cover, do not assume anything before the results were told. The scorching sun was covered by the clouds, that would rain and bring us hope. Do not lose faith, one who doesn't believes in himself doesn't deserved to receive the success of his very own hardship." - Maito Gai
Guess who is this?
Well, I have nothing particular to post up here. Just felt good that it finally rains after a few months and felt like telling it haha!
"Do not judge the books by its cover, do not assume anything before the results were told. The scorching sun was covered by the clouds, that would rain and bring us hope. Do not lose faith, one who doesn't believes in himself doesn't deserved to receive the success of his very own hardship." - Maito Gai
Guess who is this?
Friday, May 11, 2007
Whats the meaning of mine?
Argh, when is the hot day going to end? I cant stand it anymore...the scorching day is making me scorching hot inside and cant think of anything to write...Since I have nothing to write then I will just simply write something to update my blog hahaha...
Hmm, today was a normal day. An early awakening of my tired body, brush up and get ready to go for my DATE. Oh, its just going for badminton with one of my friend. Hahaha. Well, I have a decent walk from my house to the lrt station to wait for my friend to pick me up, humming some musical rhythm in my mind. It wasn't a long wait, I've just reach awhile before my friend and we went to TARC's sport complex and have an hour badminton TRAINING before I was send home.
After that I got a call and was asked to go for a gathering. For my surprise my friend was back from the matriculation in Kedah. Since we have not met in a while, I was really anticipating the gathering. Well, it turned out to be fun, as we just went to cyber(=.= typical Setapak school boys haha)like we did last time when we having free time to spend together. After the gathering, I had a 45 minutes walk home. Just great, another opportunity to lose my weight.
Hmm, something was bugging me for a long time. What is the meaning of life? What is the feeling of being dead? Well, I cant tell for the feeling of death but I think I can finally think properly for the meaning of life, of my life. For me, Malaysia education really doesn't suites me. I don't like to learn what that is not related. I hate being nagged to study and prepare for examinations daily. Instead, I like to think. Think beyond the normal. That's why something like whats the feeling of being death will come into my mind haha. As for my future, I plan to just find a work that I do not hate and have just enough salary to cover up for everything and maybe enough to save up...say 2k to 3k is already enough for me. Maybe when I have time I would like to travel to other places, learn other cultures and their way of life. I like to listen, but I seldom speaks but was forced to speak when I'm in primary school and in the end built up a crappy personality, but I still likes to listen. I like reading. so maybe I would spend a lot of time reading a lot of books till the day I died and then finally knew the feelings of death. That's what my plan for my future. But then everything is not going to be as I've planned...
The meaning of my life is not there, that's why sometimes I felt that I've been pressured and pushed out of my own trail. I need to act beyond what I usually wanted and betray my own self just to survive. I want to be free, if can I just want to learn and not for exams, is just for the sake of learning knowledge. What a waste that is, a lot of knowledge, too little time to know every of them. Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I should face the reality. Maybe I should just go by the destined fate of mine and play my role correctly. Maybe I can let it be and then implement what I wanted into my current. Hmm, that sounds possible.
Ah, stop for all that dream. This the reality. The reality is not something that we can achieve our goals by just dreaming. We need to work for it. Work hard, and IF playing our cards right then we can achieve our goals. The seek of my meaningful life starts here I think. I should probably start thinking how to achieve the best lifestyle that I wanted in this disastrous reality. I cant just neglect what my decision will turn out affect my family and my future can I?
"Maybe we can't choose when to be born, in which era, in which century, in which country, in which family. But we can choose which was the best for us. No matter how the times flows, how the future turn into, we can still live the life we wants and the way we die. But, there is an important thing. We must not regret for it. We can only live our life once, be grateful and live with the way we wanted, with no regrets of which ever we had chosen to be."
Hmm, today was a normal day. An early awakening of my tired body, brush up and get ready to go for my DATE. Oh, its just going for badminton with one of my friend. Hahaha. Well, I have a decent walk from my house to the lrt station to wait for my friend to pick me up, humming some musical rhythm in my mind. It wasn't a long wait, I've just reach awhile before my friend and we went to TARC's sport complex and have an hour badminton TRAINING before I was send home.
After that I got a call and was asked to go for a gathering. For my surprise my friend was back from the matriculation in Kedah. Since we have not met in a while, I was really anticipating the gathering. Well, it turned out to be fun, as we just went to cyber(=.= typical Setapak school boys haha)like we did last time when we having free time to spend together. After the gathering, I had a 45 minutes walk home. Just great, another opportunity to lose my weight.
Hmm, something was bugging me for a long time. What is the meaning of life? What is the feeling of being dead? Well, I cant tell for the feeling of death but I think I can finally think properly for the meaning of life, of my life. For me, Malaysia education really doesn't suites me. I don't like to learn what that is not related. I hate being nagged to study and prepare for examinations daily. Instead, I like to think. Think beyond the normal. That's why something like whats the feeling of being death will come into my mind haha. As for my future, I plan to just find a work that I do not hate and have just enough salary to cover up for everything and maybe enough to save up...say 2k to 3k is already enough for me. Maybe when I have time I would like to travel to other places, learn other cultures and their way of life. I like to listen, but I seldom speaks but was forced to speak when I'm in primary school and in the end built up a crappy personality, but I still likes to listen. I like reading. so maybe I would spend a lot of time reading a lot of books till the day I died and then finally knew the feelings of death. That's what my plan for my future. But then everything is not going to be as I've planned...
The meaning of my life is not there, that's why sometimes I felt that I've been pressured and pushed out of my own trail. I need to act beyond what I usually wanted and betray my own self just to survive. I want to be free, if can I just want to learn and not for exams, is just for the sake of learning knowledge. What a waste that is, a lot of knowledge, too little time to know every of them. Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I should face the reality. Maybe I should just go by the destined fate of mine and play my role correctly. Maybe I can let it be and then implement what I wanted into my current. Hmm, that sounds possible.
Ah, stop for all that dream. This the reality. The reality is not something that we can achieve our goals by just dreaming. We need to work for it. Work hard, and IF playing our cards right then we can achieve our goals. The seek of my meaningful life starts here I think. I should probably start thinking how to achieve the best lifestyle that I wanted in this disastrous reality. I cant just neglect what my decision will turn out affect my family and my future can I?
"Maybe we can't choose when to be born, in which era, in which century, in which country, in which family. But we can choose which was the best for us. No matter how the times flows, how the future turn into, we can still live the life we wants and the way we die. But, there is an important thing. We must not regret for it. We can only live our life once, be grateful and live with the way we wanted, with no regrets of which ever we had chosen to be."
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Thats me! (have it from Karen's blog haha)
| You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
Yo, thats me hahaha...Im me and me Im...swt...
| Your Career Type: Social |
 You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer. |
The carrier thing is just so bullshit...swt...getting agressive...a nurse? me?...kid me not...
| Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning |
 You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum. |
Oh my...what is this?...an idealist?...sounds...not bad...hahaha
What I am thinking in this 30 minutes...
Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 1.55a.m.
The night is warm, with its unusually hot air flowing all over the house. Or is it because my sitting in front of computer for a long period does that effect on me? It doesn't matter, blankness of my head causing me to unable to do anything to this post at the moment. Maybe I should give it a 5 minutes more to think about what I really wanted to write about.
Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.00a.m.
Listening to the midi. Relaxing. Thinking deeply how to construct my upcoming sentences, clause, phrase, words, alphabets...well...a little too much for that. A strong feel of writing but an empty mind without topic bounds me to where I am. Cant think of anything to write.
Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.15a.m.
Hmm, just watched a drama scene. Talking bout a rich guy with two wives and four children and how he be the great man in his family, maintaining the peace and harmonic between every family members. Well, family really does mean alot to everyone doesn't it? Without your parents you weren't here today, without your family you weren't you today, and what else? Be grateful if you have a lively family, be thankful if you have a parents that loves you so much that they were able to give up anything and everything just for you.
Think about it, when is the last time you talked heart to heart with your mom and dad? When is the last time you really communicated with them, sitting in front of them, talking about your problems, asking for "directions" and help, solving problems together with them? Or maybe, did you ever talk with them nicely even? Well, of course I hope everyone does communicate well with their parents well and love them as much as everything.
I myself sometimes have problems talking with my mom. Sometimes she is just so stubborn and wouldn't listen to what I am going to explain to her. But well, when I came to think of it every time after I quarrelled with her, I feel that there is a motherly love there. I knew she was just being too stern with her feelings and just cared about us and she wouldn't give up her point when she knew she was right (but actually my point was right too what...=.=). I love her and I really do.
As for my dad, he is a happy go lucky person. He wont hope for more and he was always being humorous and joke about everything that came to him. Even if my mom was mad he would just make some lame jokes about her...swt...I think that's the way he survived till now cause my mom, I would say frankly, was a pretty strict person and very serious about everything. Oh I have nothing to talked bout my dad, just that he sometimes are really annoying when he keeps asking us to shut up when my bro and sis are quarelling...swt...(family problems too much eh? haha, but I wouldn't call it a problem...)
Oh, for my siblings, I have one younger sister and a younger brother. Ah they cause not much problem. Just my sis always wants what everyone have and she often do not talk "nicely" what she wants from us and what she wants to tell. But it was alright since she was standard 6 and starting to obey me sometimes. My bro...smart but lazy...(like me, like elder like younger...swt)
For me, my family really means alot to me. Although there are noises all around when everyone was present but that means that they are all healthy, and at least, talking with each other. But sometimes I do hope my mom will listen to me before she concludes anything...Oh well, just hope...
Writing ends at 2.32a.m., 8th MAY 2007, Tuesday
"Family plays an important role in everyone of us. Without them we were nothing compared to the wilds. Without them we were just nothing today. Have sympathy to those without a family or a broken one. Tell everyone in your members that you love them, when you have the chance as you might not have the chance when you cant tell them anymore."
The night is warm, with its unusually hot air flowing all over the house. Or is it because my sitting in front of computer for a long period does that effect on me? It doesn't matter, blankness of my head causing me to unable to do anything to this post at the moment. Maybe I should give it a 5 minutes more to think about what I really wanted to write about.
Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.00a.m.
Listening to the midi. Relaxing. Thinking deeply how to construct my upcoming sentences, clause, phrase, words, alphabets...well...a little too much for that. A strong feel of writing but an empty mind without topic bounds me to where I am. Cant think of anything to write.
Tuesday, 8th MAY 2007, 2.15a.m.
Hmm, just watched a drama scene. Talking bout a rich guy with two wives and four children and how he be the great man in his family, maintaining the peace and harmonic between every family members. Well, family really does mean alot to everyone doesn't it? Without your parents you weren't here today, without your family you weren't you today, and what else? Be grateful if you have a lively family, be thankful if you have a parents that loves you so much that they were able to give up anything and everything just for you.
Think about it, when is the last time you talked heart to heart with your mom and dad? When is the last time you really communicated with them, sitting in front of them, talking about your problems, asking for "directions" and help, solving problems together with them? Or maybe, did you ever talk with them nicely even? Well, of course I hope everyone does communicate well with their parents well and love them as much as everything.
I myself sometimes have problems talking with my mom. Sometimes she is just so stubborn and wouldn't listen to what I am going to explain to her. But well, when I came to think of it every time after I quarrelled with her, I feel that there is a motherly love there. I knew she was just being too stern with her feelings and just cared about us and she wouldn't give up her point when she knew she was right (but actually my point was right too what...=.=). I love her and I really do.
As for my dad, he is a happy go lucky person. He wont hope for more and he was always being humorous and joke about everything that came to him. Even if my mom was mad he would just make some lame jokes about her...swt...I think that's the way he survived till now cause my mom, I would say frankly, was a pretty strict person and very serious about everything. Oh I have nothing to talked bout my dad, just that he sometimes are really annoying when he keeps asking us to shut up when my bro and sis are quarelling...swt...(family problems too much eh? haha, but I wouldn't call it a problem...)
Oh, for my siblings, I have one younger sister and a younger brother. Ah they cause not much problem. Just my sis always wants what everyone have and she often do not talk "nicely" what she wants from us and what she wants to tell. But it was alright since she was standard 6 and starting to obey me sometimes. My bro...smart but lazy...(like me, like elder like younger...swt)
For me, my family really means alot to me. Although there are noises all around when everyone was present but that means that they are all healthy, and at least, talking with each other. But sometimes I do hope my mom will listen to me before she concludes anything...Oh well, just hope...
Writing ends at 2.32a.m., 8th MAY 2007, Tuesday
"Family plays an important role in everyone of us. Without them we were nothing compared to the wilds. Without them we were just nothing today. Have sympathy to those without a family or a broken one. Tell everyone in your members that you love them, when you have the chance as you might not have the chance when you cant tell them anymore."
This is when my uncle's wedding last Xmas
Saturday, May 5, 2007
It sometimes really doesn't matters, but sometimes they do...
Its 11.33p.m. and the Superstar Show has just ended with a brand new superstar Henley! Wow, but I do hope Orange can win the prize hahaha...not being bias but she do have a very special voice and passionate singing style.
Oh stop crapping bout that already. A week has passed since the starting of sem break. The feeling of loneliness still following me around, accompanying me no matter when I'm sleeping, or eating, or bathing, or...oh what ever...I think some of you did have the same feeling huh?
Whats next? Oh, nothing...pure nothing...there is once a person said(sorry I cant remember the name) "To do nothing is really hard, as nothing is really nothing to be done" well that I think really has its own meaning there...been trying to find SOMETHING that can really inspire me, ignite the passion in me, to push me to MOVE AWAY from this bored computer.
Maybe I should find something to do in this holiday. Which 1 is better? Find a job? Or just plan some programme with friends? Oh, meeting with old friends isn'ta bad idea either...nah, all that seems nothing compared to reading I think. But, I've been lacking of reading materials. Hope I can find something interesting to read soon...
Ah, I came across something, so here goes my second philos
A boy was born, but his mother was dead after giving birth to this boy. No one ever blame the boy for his mother's death, although he knew that the fact he was innocent, but he can't omit the guilt in him. This is because the fate had linked his birth and his mother's death together and bind it. The feeling of guilty and the pressure shows no mercy, they pushed him to failure in his entire life, for him trying cover up something that he did not do wrong......
Sometimes in life we will make wrong decisions, or maybe we didn't consider about the consequences before we make our action. That will eventually turn out to be something that pressure us if somethings goes wrong with our act. The guilt that will always follow us. But there is one thing, sometimes it really isn't our fault even if it turns out badly. I think that we shouldn't claim everything to our own even if we are the one who make decisions. Neither do the others as they did nothing wrong just like the boy. There is no one to be blamed on his mother's death as that is his mother's time has arrived. Well, maybe I'm just plainly wrong about it but that is what I think by now. Even if we claim everything to ourselves but then it wont be any help anymore as it had already happened and there is no way back. The only thing we can do is, think twice and think wise before we made any decisions after that.
"FATE has HIS own story written in his books, and we cant change to storyline as we are just someone playing a role in the story. What we can do is by playing our roles well and be careful of what we are going to do as it really matters to ourselves or to the others."
Oh stop crapping bout that already. A week has passed since the starting of sem break. The feeling of loneliness still following me around, accompanying me no matter when I'm sleeping, or eating, or bathing, or...oh what ever...I think some of you did have the same feeling huh?
Whats next? Oh, nothing...pure nothing...there is once a person said(sorry I cant remember the name) "To do nothing is really hard, as nothing is really nothing to be done" well that I think really has its own meaning there...been trying to find SOMETHING that can really inspire me, ignite the passion in me, to push me to MOVE AWAY from this bored computer.
Maybe I should find something to do in this holiday. Which 1 is better? Find a job? Or just plan some programme with friends? Oh, meeting with old friends isn'ta bad idea either...nah, all that seems nothing compared to reading I think. But, I've been lacking of reading materials. Hope I can find something interesting to read soon...
Ah, I came across something, so here goes my second philos
A boy was born, but his mother was dead after giving birth to this boy. No one ever blame the boy for his mother's death, although he knew that the fact he was innocent, but he can't omit the guilt in him. This is because the fate had linked his birth and his mother's death together and bind it. The feeling of guilty and the pressure shows no mercy, they pushed him to failure in his entire life, for him trying cover up something that he did not do wrong......
Sometimes in life we will make wrong decisions, or maybe we didn't consider about the consequences before we make our action. That will eventually turn out to be something that pressure us if somethings goes wrong with our act. The guilt that will always follow us. But there is one thing, sometimes it really isn't our fault even if it turns out badly. I think that we shouldn't claim everything to our own even if we are the one who make decisions. Neither do the others as they did nothing wrong just like the boy. There is no one to be blamed on his mother's death as that is his mother's time has arrived. Well, maybe I'm just plainly wrong about it but that is what I think by now. Even if we claim everything to ourselves but then it wont be any help anymore as it had already happened and there is no way back. The only thing we can do is, think twice and think wise before we made any decisions after that.
"FATE has HIS own story written in his books, and we cant change to storyline as we are just someone playing a role in the story. What we can do is by playing our roles well and be careful of what we are going to do as it really matters to ourselves or to the others."
Friday, May 4, 2007
Its all thinking back...
Its Friday evening, back from Megamall and from the movie Spiderman 3. The street was scorching, the air feels dry. Im sitting infront of the computer viewing those old picture, that was taken long time ago and recently. I "stumble across" those drama pictures we've taken along the scenes. Well, that makes me kinda think back of the times where and when we were having alots of fun together...
Stunning acts of the bohn-bons!
Spending times with friends are really fun for me. Even if just sitting at Burger Kings and was just blowing about the latest features of computers, or games, or movies, or even talking bout friends that we knew. Atleast it is better than sitting at the living room and do nothing.
Taken last day of Foundation Studies
Then, I looked at the 1st ever birthday celebration with Gin Gin. Thinking back of it, kinda happy that day even if the cake I bought was just used for "cake war". Happy moments was just so short I think. Wonder when is the next time I can celebrate again with them? Whos next? Onn Sein maybe(hope my shirt and hair wont get those creams)? Hahaha...
This is a rare 1, hope I wont be whacked by SOMEONE
Well, I think this is when it all started, the romance of CK and Gin...
Oh, its time for dinner, well gotta rush for it cause of my tummy is already "thundering" inside...
"History is to be learn, the past failure is to be forgotten, memories are just something that you wanted the most at times. Do not let the past haunt you, let it be a part of your memories and maybe when you flash back on them sometimes, you will notice a sweet smile on you or yourself laughing for your own silliness. Then? You will just move on merily as if nothing had happen."
Stunning acts of the bohn-bons!
Spending times with friends are really fun for me. Even if just sitting at Burger Kings and was just blowing about the latest features of computers, or games, or movies, or even talking bout friends that we knew. Atleast it is better than sitting at the living room and do nothing.
Taken last day of Foundation Studies
Then, I looked at the 1st ever birthday celebration with Gin Gin. Thinking back of it, kinda happy that day even if the cake I bought was just used for "cake war". Happy moments was just so short I think. Wonder when is the next time I can celebrate again with them? Whos next? Onn Sein maybe(hope my shirt and hair wont get those creams)? Hahaha...
This is a rare 1, hope I wont be whacked by SOMEONE
Well, I think this is when it all started, the romance of CK and Gin...
Oh, its time for dinner, well gotta rush for it cause of my tummy is already "thundering" inside...
"History is to be learn, the past failure is to be forgotten, memories are just something that you wanted the most at times. Do not let the past haunt you, let it be a part of your memories and maybe when you flash back on them sometimes, you will notice a sweet smile on you or yourself laughing for your own silliness. Then? You will just move on merily as if nothing had happen."
Is it because...?
Everyone remember that poor guy stabbed death by the robber who studied in TARC last year? Or that girl being violated and nearly raped in TARC? Or Ms Kong being robbed and badly injured? Even myself has being robbed twice although the second time I was being asked for the money "nicely". From all, I found a common facts related. All TAR(University/College Tunku Abdul Rahman) students are related(LOL).
Why? Why all these incident are happening in Malaysia? Is it the government authorities should be blamed of? Is it because the police aren't doing their part? Or is it the breed since the day they(robbers/thefts) were born that had brought up a wrong mindset? Or should we blame them themselves for doing such "good deeds" to us?We students often wrote essays about social problems, but have you ever think deeply? Why this cant be solved? Or the Ministers didn't look upon the consequences and subsequents of it and handle it just by pushing it to the subordinates to handle themselves?
My mom just came back from Singapore (watched Phantom of the Opera there, I wanted to watch but of the Management study....) few days ago and she compared between Singapore and Malaysia (again. She went to Singapore to watch Miss Saigon few years back then). This is the sentence I heard her saying more than 10 times without her conscience knowing that she had repeated it that much : "Singapore ARE REALLY a safer place than Malaysia". Ah, and why was that? Singapore is a country that prosper, there are more "millionaire" than us here in Malaysia and why the robbers/thefts chooses to stay here and not in Singapore?
If you say "Oh, they are those nasty little Indonesians", "They probably sneaked in to our country and jobless". Oh, they are wrong indeed but I don't blame them as much as when I found out these, "They are Malays, wearing....."(from the victims), "Oh those Indians are so fast, I cant even run away"(yet another victim) or my version, "There are 6 of them, short and tall but all skinny, Malays I call them, rascals barbarians...."(this is my version of being robbed) Oh my GOD, Malaysians O' Malaysians. Those Malay guys they get everything better than us Chinese and yet they still wanna rob us?
These are not the worst cases. Those culprits, call themselves the good guy, didn't even lend a helping hand when the victims need them. Doctors, can you imagine a doctor who refused to help a badly injured person and he was just within a walking distance? Those people who passed by don't even care to call for help?Those busy bodies who came and look at the victim but do not even care to send him to the hospital or clinic? These I call them ba******. Why don't they help? If one day they are the one who is robbed and injured, I hope there is someone there to help them so that they will know. Kinda think of it, will I myself give a helping hand? I think I would. That's what I learned from PBSM in secondary school. Never leave a person unhelped.
Its 8.30a.m. in the morning. I supposed I gotta get ready for the movie or else KY would say something as I hold the tickets (wicked, ngek ngek ngek). Well then, see y'all later!
p/s: sorry if this post troubles you, I just woke up and has the urge to post but I cant construct my sentences well, hehe.
"You can't change the fact that it happened. But you can change the fate of the ones who caught into it even by just calling for help. And you can still change the fate that it wont happens to you now and then."
Why? Why all these incident are happening in Malaysia? Is it the government authorities should be blamed of? Is it because the police aren't doing their part? Or is it the breed since the day they(robbers/thefts) were born that had brought up a wrong mindset? Or should we blame them themselves for doing such "good deeds" to us?We students often wrote essays about social problems, but have you ever think deeply? Why this cant be solved? Or the Ministers didn't look upon the consequences and subsequents of it and handle it just by pushing it to the subordinates to handle themselves?
My mom just came back from Singapore (watched Phantom of the Opera there, I wanted to watch but of the Management study....) few days ago and she compared between Singapore and Malaysia (again. She went to Singapore to watch Miss Saigon few years back then). This is the sentence I heard her saying more than 10 times without her conscience knowing that she had repeated it that much : "Singapore ARE REALLY a safer place than Malaysia". Ah, and why was that? Singapore is a country that prosper, there are more "millionaire" than us here in Malaysia and why the robbers/thefts chooses to stay here and not in Singapore?
If you say "Oh, they are those nasty little Indonesians", "They probably sneaked in to our country and jobless". Oh, they are wrong indeed but I don't blame them as much as when I found out these, "They are Malays, wearing....."(from the victims), "Oh those Indians are so fast, I cant even run away"(yet another victim) or my version, "There are 6 of them, short and tall but all skinny, Malays I call them, rascals barbarians...."(this is my version of being robbed) Oh my GOD, Malaysians O' Malaysians. Those Malay guys they get everything better than us Chinese and yet they still wanna rob us?
These are not the worst cases. Those culprits, call themselves the good guy, didn't even lend a helping hand when the victims need them. Doctors, can you imagine a doctor who refused to help a badly injured person and he was just within a walking distance? Those people who passed by don't even care to call for help?Those busy bodies who came and look at the victim but do not even care to send him to the hospital or clinic? These I call them ba******. Why don't they help? If one day they are the one who is robbed and injured, I hope there is someone there to help them so that they will know. Kinda think of it, will I myself give a helping hand? I think I would. That's what I learned from PBSM in secondary school. Never leave a person unhelped.
Its 8.30a.m. in the morning. I supposed I gotta get ready for the movie or else KY would say something as I hold the tickets (wicked, ngek ngek ngek). Well then, see y'all later!
p/s: sorry if this post troubles you, I just woke up and has the urge to post but I cant construct my sentences well, hehe.
"You can't change the fact that it happened. But you can change the fate of the ones who caught into it even by just calling for help. And you can still change the fate that it wont happens to you now and then."
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Just crapping for nothing...
THE BALANCE TALK
Balance. Ever think of it? Whats the balance of the livings? Whats the balance of life? There is no precise answer. For me, the Nature has yet not met its balance, and neither will it for as long as it lives. Yin & Yang appears when the Nature, the Earth was borned. This two forces trying to cover up each other to meet the balance on Nature. But, if the balance is occured, why then are they still doing here? Thats it, they never made it to the balance. The World will not reach its balance.
From my point of view, thats the balance of the Nature, never to be balance. If your dont have yin(shade) then there will not be yang(lights). If there is no short then there will be no tall there is always something existed to be compared of. Thats the way we are, comparing each other. Ever wonder about the ecosystems? There is said the ecosystem must be on balance so that it can continue its cycles. But then there again, it never reaches balance. If it reaches balance, then there is really an unbalanced theory.
The Earth itself was made unbalanced. It rotates not in straight but a little bit of slacking to the side. There is extreme cool places where the eskimos lives and there is also extreme hot places where the Nomad lives. Some places has four seasons and some places has only one season. It is truely unfair in some sense but then thats the way it was.
NO PURPOSE
Motherly thoughts: "It will always be the elder's fault if something goes wrong, find him/her first before I settle the others..." why was that? Don't know....
Sometimes I kinda think that, "what am I doing here?" Well, there is no purpose we are born. We must find our own purpose to live on. "Why we study?" "We are learning, getting knowledges from the pass and present." But is it that way? Well, I can tell in Malaysia it is not. We study cause we need to pass all the exams, we need to get higher marks so to proceed on our education. Is that the main purposes of learning? Of the knowledge being passed on generations to generations? For me, the aim of learning is for the sake of knowledge, to build a mindset, a personality that can coupe with his/her own life in the future. Im not stupid if I cant score As' in my subjects, and that doesn't mean I cant do well. I just felt that the main is out of trails.
Whoa...look at the time. Its 2.30p.m. already and Im crapping nothing here, well just adding up my posts thats all. Gotta get back to my houseworks already...
"Never look down yourself when others look down upon you. They are just blinded by the false facts, you may look down at them, in despise that they do not understands the truth within the false."
Balance. Ever think of it? Whats the balance of the livings? Whats the balance of life? There is no precise answer. For me, the Nature has yet not met its balance, and neither will it for as long as it lives. Yin & Yang appears when the Nature, the Earth was borned. This two forces trying to cover up each other to meet the balance on Nature. But, if the balance is occured, why then are they still doing here? Thats it, they never made it to the balance. The World will not reach its balance.
From my point of view, thats the balance of the Nature, never to be balance. If your dont have yin(shade) then there will not be yang(lights). If there is no short then there will be no tall there is always something existed to be compared of. Thats the way we are, comparing each other. Ever wonder about the ecosystems? There is said the ecosystem must be on balance so that it can continue its cycles. But then there again, it never reaches balance. If it reaches balance, then there is really an unbalanced theory.
The Earth itself was made unbalanced. It rotates not in straight but a little bit of slacking to the side. There is extreme cool places where the eskimos lives and there is also extreme hot places where the Nomad lives. Some places has four seasons and some places has only one season. It is truely unfair in some sense but then thats the way it was.
NO PURPOSE
Motherly thoughts: "It will always be the elder's fault if something goes wrong, find him/her first before I settle the others..." why was that? Don't know....
Sometimes I kinda think that, "what am I doing here?" Well, there is no purpose we are born. We must find our own purpose to live on. "Why we study?" "We are learning, getting knowledges from the pass and present." But is it that way? Well, I can tell in Malaysia it is not. We study cause we need to pass all the exams, we need to get higher marks so to proceed on our education. Is that the main purposes of learning? Of the knowledge being passed on generations to generations? For me, the aim of learning is for the sake of knowledge, to build a mindset, a personality that can coupe with his/her own life in the future. Im not stupid if I cant score As' in my subjects, and that doesn't mean I cant do well. I just felt that the main is out of trails.
Whoa...look at the time. Its 2.30p.m. already and Im crapping nothing here, well just adding up my posts thats all. Gotta get back to my houseworks already...
"Never look down yourself when others look down upon you. They are just blinded by the false facts, you may look down at them, in despise that they do not understands the truth within the false."
The end? Or maybe NOT, It is just about to start..
It is almost 4a.m. in the morning. I cant sleep and sat upon of my computer, trying to think of something to write. Well, everyone seems to be very happy about this sem break, or shall I say the end of our foundation year? For me, it is just another starting, " is this the end?" " no, it is just about to start!" "hurry up and get ready, you're gonna get lost if you don't pick up the pace!". Yes, everything is just about to start.
It is already 4a.m. and I am still wrtting this blog. The sun is going to have it's power shining to everyone and everywhere it can get. The power of never endings. Everyday although its same; dawn, dusk, sun sets, sun rises everyday the same routine but it brings different occasions, different meaning to be searched with our souls, different experiences to be experienced by us. "Its not the end yet!" "Yes. I can still go on." This is what I will be telling myself starting from now. We must not lose faith and hopes so that we can proceed to the next level.
The end of my foundation year means the starting of my degree (although I still doubt that I can proceed to degree), start with meeting new people around me, not forgetting those wonderful friends back then. It is not the end of friendship, once a friend forver will be friend. A good starting means more goodies will come on 1 by 1 following each other. So prepare well for the up comming challenge...
But everything has its limit. Go over that and it will turn upside down. The rules of "yin & yang", showing us that we must'nt be too harsh on everything. Do not push yourself over the limits or you will just breakdown at that very point. Balance, yes thats the word for it. Keep track of the balance of physical and metal health so to improve ourselves...
Today is already 3rd of May. Has everyone packed and moved to new hostel? Or everyone has been packing home? Im wondering cause of the silenced living room the whole day yesterday and the day before. No one even mind calling(not you KY..lol..), I think they are busy packing and getting ready to go home.
There is always an ackward feel in holiday, maybe it is the sudden changes of daily routine that makes me feel uneasy, I cant fall asleep. I think I miss everything and everyone. Losing tracks of them, nothing to do but to just sit infront of the computer and good for nothing. Maybe it is time that I try to figure out what I really wanted. A blurr scenery of future up ahead awaits me to discover.
Can't think properly right now. I think I've lost track of myself at the moment cause it is 4.25a.m. in the morning. In an hour time my dad and my siblings are about to wake up and get ready to go to school. I sure miss everyone there, my old schoolmates that are studying form 6 now, my ex-teachers that are retired and/or still teaching in my ex-school. Well, no matter how I miss everything, or how I wanted to have the time return back to all those memorable times, I still need to go on. Not looking back but to look foward is the only way of life. Yeah, I understand it very well.
My back is aching, I think it is the warning my brain gives me that I had spent too much time sitting here. Well, got to go too cause I think I'm just merely crapping....
"Humans usually wont trust the truth if they don't see it with their very own eyes. But the truth is not just what we see with eyes and heard with ears, it is what we should learn with our heart..."
It is already 4a.m. and I am still wrtting this blog. The sun is going to have it's power shining to everyone and everywhere it can get. The power of never endings. Everyday although its same; dawn, dusk, sun sets, sun rises everyday the same routine but it brings different occasions, different meaning to be searched with our souls, different experiences to be experienced by us. "Its not the end yet!" "Yes. I can still go on." This is what I will be telling myself starting from now. We must not lose faith and hopes so that we can proceed to the next level.
The end of my foundation year means the starting of my degree (although I still doubt that I can proceed to degree), start with meeting new people around me, not forgetting those wonderful friends back then. It is not the end of friendship, once a friend forver will be friend. A good starting means more goodies will come on 1 by 1 following each other. So prepare well for the up comming challenge...
But everything has its limit. Go over that and it will turn upside down. The rules of "yin & yang", showing us that we must'nt be too harsh on everything. Do not push yourself over the limits or you will just breakdown at that very point. Balance, yes thats the word for it. Keep track of the balance of physical and metal health so to improve ourselves...
Today is already 3rd of May. Has everyone packed and moved to new hostel? Or everyone has been packing home? Im wondering cause of the silenced living room the whole day yesterday and the day before. No one even mind calling(not you KY..lol..), I think they are busy packing and getting ready to go home.
There is always an ackward feel in holiday, maybe it is the sudden changes of daily routine that makes me feel uneasy, I cant fall asleep. I think I miss everything and everyone. Losing tracks of them, nothing to do but to just sit infront of the computer and good for nothing. Maybe it is time that I try to figure out what I really wanted. A blurr scenery of future up ahead awaits me to discover.
Can't think properly right now. I think I've lost track of myself at the moment cause it is 4.25a.m. in the morning. In an hour time my dad and my siblings are about to wake up and get ready to go to school. I sure miss everyone there, my old schoolmates that are studying form 6 now, my ex-teachers that are retired and/or still teaching in my ex-school. Well, no matter how I miss everything, or how I wanted to have the time return back to all those memorable times, I still need to go on. Not looking back but to look foward is the only way of life. Yeah, I understand it very well.
My back is aching, I think it is the warning my brain gives me that I had spent too much time sitting here. Well, got to go too cause I think I'm just merely crapping....
"Humans usually wont trust the truth if they don't see it with their very own eyes. But the truth is not just what we see with eyes and heard with ears, it is what we should learn with our heart..."
Thinking......
Well, this is crazy...thinking of starting a blog in bloggers really makes me sick. But then came to think of it, it is actually a good start for me...throwing away all the saddening stuffs in friendsters and start a new blogging life in here. Thanks to the ant compared to giant, the small size but eat like giant, THE GREAT Onn Sein showing me her wonderfull blog. This kinda inspired me to blog here and well...it is such a suprise that actually a whole lot of people really blogged here...haha...blogging really tiring sometimes...need to think alot...
Here comes my first philos.......
Apprentice: "Master, can you explain to me what is freedom?"
Master: "Which freedom you are asking?" the Master continues : "The first freedom is foolishness. Just like a big horse shaking the knight off its back, but that just makes the pain on its stomach feeling stronger in return." Master: "The second freedom is regrets. The regrets here is just like an old sailor that chooses to sink and drown with the ship rather than being on a safety emergency boat like others do." Master: "The third freedom is understanding. Understanding will only came in, saying : "ah!" after experiencing foolishness and regrets. Just like those wheats bending their bodies over the blowing of the strong wind. Because it bends down its soft parts and that is why they can overcome the strong wind." Apprentice: "Thats all?" Master: "Alot thinks that they are searching the reality in their souls. But, the truth is that there is a much greater soul considering and searching for them. It is just like the Nature, it allows all differences in it, but it can easiliy eliminate and substitute those who cheated it. Those who allows it to "think" in their hearts, will have "freedom" from it eventually. Just the same as the rivers helping the swimmers swim to the opposite bank, if they obey to the waves and let the waves brings them to their great destination......"
What do you think about the Master's teachings? Understand it might need alot of thinking. But if you think of it you might as well find answers to other questions as well. Lifes are full of wonders and uncertainties (hey this is the term in management...), finding the meaning of life is not by just thinking about your future, but is to really understand what your inner self really wanted. Believe your souls within you that brings you to the truth of what you are searching.....
Here comes my first philos.......
Apprentice: "Master, can you explain to me what is freedom?"
Master: "Which freedom you are asking?" the Master continues : "The first freedom is foolishness. Just like a big horse shaking the knight off its back, but that just makes the pain on its stomach feeling stronger in return." Master: "The second freedom is regrets. The regrets here is just like an old sailor that chooses to sink and drown with the ship rather than being on a safety emergency boat like others do." Master: "The third freedom is understanding. Understanding will only came in, saying : "ah!" after experiencing foolishness and regrets. Just like those wheats bending their bodies over the blowing of the strong wind. Because it bends down its soft parts and that is why they can overcome the strong wind." Apprentice: "Thats all?" Master: "Alot thinks that they are searching the reality in their souls. But, the truth is that there is a much greater soul considering and searching for them. It is just like the Nature, it allows all differences in it, but it can easiliy eliminate and substitute those who cheated it. Those who allows it to "think" in their hearts, will have "freedom" from it eventually. Just the same as the rivers helping the swimmers swim to the opposite bank, if they obey to the waves and let the waves brings them to their great destination......"
What do you think about the Master's teachings? Understand it might need alot of thinking. But if you think of it you might as well find answers to other questions as well. Lifes are full of wonders and uncertainties (hey this is the term in management...), finding the meaning of life is not by just thinking about your future, but is to really understand what your inner self really wanted. Believe your souls within you that brings you to the truth of what you are searching.....
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