Argh, when is the hot day going to end? I cant stand it anymore...the scorching day is making me scorching hot inside and cant think of anything to write...Since I have nothing to write then I will just simply write something to update my blog hahaha...
Hmm, today was a normal day. An early awakening of my tired body, brush up and get ready to go for my DATE. Oh, its just going for badminton with one of my friend. Hahaha. Well, I have a decent walk from my house to the lrt station to wait for my friend to pick me up, humming some musical rhythm in my mind. It wasn't a long wait, I've just reach awhile before my friend and we went to TARC's sport complex and have an hour badminton TRAINING before I was send home.
After that I got a call and was asked to go for a gathering. For my surprise my friend was back from the matriculation in Kedah. Since we have not met in a while, I was really anticipating the gathering. Well, it turned out to be fun, as we just went to cyber(=.= typical Setapak school boys haha)like we did last time when we having free time to spend together. After the gathering, I had a 45 minutes walk home. Just great, another opportunity to lose my weight.
Hmm, something was bugging me for a long time. What is the meaning of life? What is the feeling of being dead? Well, I cant tell for the feeling of death but I think I can finally think properly for the meaning of life, of my life. For me, Malaysia education really doesn't suites me. I don't like to learn what that is not related. I hate being nagged to study and prepare for examinations daily. Instead, I like to think. Think beyond the normal. That's why something like whats the feeling of being death will come into my mind haha. As for my future, I plan to just find a work that I do not hate and have just enough salary to cover up for everything and maybe enough to save up...say 2k to 3k is already enough for me. Maybe when I have time I would like to travel to other places, learn other cultures and their way of life. I like to listen, but I seldom speaks but was forced to speak when I'm in primary school and in the end built up a crappy personality, but I still likes to listen. I like reading. so maybe I would spend a lot of time reading a lot of books till the day I died and then finally knew the feelings of death. That's what my plan for my future. But then everything is not going to be as I've planned...
The meaning of my life is not there, that's why sometimes I felt that I've been pressured and pushed out of my own trail. I need to act beyond what I usually wanted and betray my own self just to survive. I want to be free, if can I just want to learn and not for exams, is just for the sake of learning knowledge. What a waste that is, a lot of knowledge, too little time to know every of them. Maybe it is time for a change. Maybe I should face the reality. Maybe I should just go by the destined fate of mine and play my role correctly. Maybe I can let it be and then implement what I wanted into my current. Hmm, that sounds possible.
Ah, stop for all that dream. This the reality. The reality is not something that we can achieve our goals by just dreaming. We need to work for it. Work hard, and IF playing our cards right then we can achieve our goals. The seek of my meaningful life starts here I think. I should probably start thinking how to achieve the best lifestyle that I wanted in this disastrous reality. I cant just neglect what my decision will turn out affect my family and my future can I?
"Maybe we can't choose when to be born, in which era, in which century, in which country, in which family. But we can choose which was the best for us. No matter how the times flows, how the future turn into, we can still live the life we wants and the way we die. But, there is an important thing. We must not regret for it. We can only live our life once, be grateful and live with the way we wanted, with no regrets of which ever we had chosen to be."
6 years ago
2 comments:
Actually why do we hate exam? Because we are not well-prepared? If not there is no reason to hate exam... Another reason perhaps is that the results will show weaker and stronger, and this is what I think most of us don't like to see...
I doubt we can choose whatever lifestyle we want, as we are living in a universe, connecting with people, it's quite impossible for us to choose whatever we want. Or let me narrow down the scope, if say we don't care about those people who are not close with us, at least we have to care about our family right? This infinitely will make us have to think twice in making a crucial decision in changing our lives. Or at first we want to choose A, but because of family, we make a slight change, and choose A+1 instead... So, I think as long as we live with connection with people around us, it's quite not possible to do whatever we want...
Well, I personally do not hate exams but I hate being NAGGED everyday to study FOR the exams, thas what happens when I sit infront the computer everyday...not even reach 5 minues my dad and mom will start bla bla bla here and there, ask me to study instead of playing computer...but Im just reading some articles sometimes, or even worst still surfing WBLE or lecture notes...=.=+
Ya Jess, you are right. We cant make decisions on what we wanted. We cant just do what ever we want without considering the consequences. Well then, I might just think about how to get my life done easier by just what I wanted to do instead of how I want it to be meaningful =.=+ (get what I mean?)......
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